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No, the brand isn’t some radical faction of Ram Trucks, but Belarusian company Ramsmobile is (supposedly) building some of the nuttiest SUVs on earth. Just take a look at these names for the four extreme trims of their RM-X2 SUV: Ascetic, Devil, God’s Creation, and Ramsider. Yep. Not made up. Each sinister vehicle gets up to 999 horsepower (what, they can’t round up?), big rearward swinging scissor doors up to 27.5 inches of ground clearance, huge all-terrain tires, and some of the craziest wheels we’ve ever seen (how do you remove them)? The company claims it will also feature special options like full carbon fiber bodies, bulletproof armor, and an electronic hookah system (the first!). There’s even an option for a descending single tank track that drops down between the wheels for really bad situations, and the RM-X2 can apparently float. The price of entry is $999,999 and only 12 orders will be accepted for 2020 production. And if you have to question projected reliability, then you just don’t have the money.

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Unzip your coat and have some mulled wine on the house—you’ve arrived at your final gifting destination: The Holiday Gift Guide. It’s like your friendly neighborhood one-stop holiday shop, except instead of balsa wood ornaments, ours is packed with thoughtful gifts for everyone on your list. Future heirlooms, small-but-significant stocking stuffers, and gear for getting out there (or staying in)—are all right here. There’s no music playing in the background though, so you’ll just have to hum Bing Crosby while you click around instead.

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