I Used My Swiss Army Knife Every Day Last Week. Here’s What Happened

Picture a Swiss Army Knife™. You’re probably picturing a Victorinox Swiss Champ. The iconic red, the white cross & shield, the endless array of tools you can pull out, one by one. I’m not a mind reader, but I know that’s what you’re imagining because that’s exactly what every guy’s been picturing for over 100 years. Since 1897, to be exact.

I still remember the first time I saw my old man’s Swiss Army Knife. I was maybe six? Seven? First or second grade, probably. It felt like I’d just witnessed magic. How could all that fit into such a tiny, unassuming thing?

A Victorinox pocket knife is a rite of passage. That first time I saw one, I wondered, “Can that thing do everything?” And now, as I hold my own, I think, “I can conquer anything.” There’s something inherently satisfying about fixing stuff with it. And with its 33 tools, I get to experience that satisfaction on repeat. Swiss-made, with the precision you’d expect, it’s everything you need. Nothing you don’t. Plus, it’s smaller than your iPhone. Take that, app store.

Sure, it’ll tackle backcountry adventures without breaking a sweat. But let’s talk about its domestic charm for a moment. Just to show why every modern gentleman needs one, I kept track of every time I used mine last week. Buckle up, readers.

• Tightened a drawer handle with the screwdriver.
• Opened a package with the blade. Okay, a few packages.
• Then, used the scissors to cut through product packaging. Why do packaging designers hate us?
• Installed a surround sound receiver using the wire crimper and cutter. This has been on my to-do list for 10 months, since my wife and I moved into this place.
• Popped a bottle of wine with the corkscrew to celebrate a successful surround sound setup.
• Tweezed a rogue nose hair. It’s 2025, men. We can’t be walking around like that.
• Used the ruler to hang a couple new pieces on the gallery wall. Because precision matters, even in creative endeavors.
• Filed a toenail that was snagging. No judgments, please. Every guy’s been there.

I haven’t even gotten to the wood saw or toothpick. But you get the point.

Last one. I used the bottle opener to crack open a cold one after finishing this article. Cheers, gentlemen. Here’s to a classic, an icon, a forever essential.

The Swiss Champ is just my preference, though. For obvious reasons. They come in all shapes, sizes, and functions. The Huntsman is essentially a reduced version of The Swiss Champ (still packs 15 functions) for just $52. The Rescue Tool can break glass, cut through seatbelts, etc. The Swiss Tool is like a pair of pliers on steroids. And the Evoke BS Alox Tool is the perfect EDC folding knife. Can’t go wrong with any of them.