The line between asshole and douchebag is a very thin one. Few people can walk the line without drunkenly stumbling into fist-pumping, spray tanned, collar-popping territory. Assholeology explained what to do, and now the Quotable Douchebag lays out what not to do. Gene Simmons for instance – “I don’t believe there’s any difference between a monogamous and a polygamous relationship. Those are all just big words, like gymnasium.” Compiled by Margaret McGuire, this tome serves as a cautionary tale of what happens when people get drunk (even if it’s on their own power) and start getting real.