Ink Blot Plate

If your diet consists of lots of squid ink pasta, we wouldn’t recommend getting these plates. First off, because you’ll think your plates are always dirty, and second because you shouldn’t be wasting time acquiring fine china when you need to be making a doctors appointment to discuss your highly bizarre eating habits. Fashioned after a Rorschach test, each of the plates in this series of four ($33 each) features an inkblot ready for your discerning eye. If instead of the animals listed, you see things like “The Devil” and “Anarchy,” you should probably also stop ordering and call the good doctor.