Hotels So Romantic You Won’t Leave the Room

Early in my vocation as a travel journalist, but well into a distinguished career of peripatetic lechery, I met a lovely lass at a saloon in Park City. The pours of High West flowed, Cupid smiled, and I spent my remaining days in the Rockies in her sweet company. When farewell came on a cold dawn at Salt Lake City International, I offered a benediction to soften the sting: “Well, sweetheart, perhaps we’ll meet again in New York one day.”

I woke up to a text two weeks later: she had booked a flight. This should have been a happy surprise, save for one logistical hiccup—I had a roommate. Who happened to be my ex-girlfriend.

I lit an American Spirit, gazed out my window at the East River, and racked my brain. Even the bedbug motels in Chinatown were out of budget. And my ex sure as hell wouldn’t vanish for a week out of kindness.

But then—Eureka, man!

I tore open my laptop and banged out a pitch: “Classic New York City Hotels.” Miraculously, an editor bit the same day. I tweeted the assignment, and hotel publicists emailed me within hours. By the time Mountain Mama landed at JFK, I had comped stays lined up for her entire visit. (The few times she inquired about the whereabouts of my apartment, I deflected with, “Look, babe! It’s Taylor Swift!”)

I learned a valuable lesson from all this: even if my apartment is a squalid shoebox haunted by a vindictive ex, with enough hustle, I can woo in five-star accommodations. At risk of blowing my cover, I’ll admit I’ve pulled this stunt all over the globe—everywhere from tropical Caribbean hideaways to cowboy-chic Wyoming lodges and aristocratic auberges in European capitals.

Here, then, is my list of the sexiest hotels—sanctuaries of room-service Champagne and high-thread-count hedonism—for those vacations when the best sightseeing takes place behind a locked door and Do Not Disturb sign.

Far from the crowded beaches and all-inclusive sprawl of Punta Cana, the Costa Norte is a sanctuary of sunshine, sea breezes, and la dolce far niente. Locals joke that they have been in the hospitality biz for over 500 years: the lush coast was a bustling waystation for conquistadors sailing from Spain to Mexico. 

The crown jewel of the Costa Norte is The Ocean Club, a recently opened Marriott Luxury Collection property. Suites include kitchens with marble islands, rain showers, and sunny balconies overlooking cerulean waters. The three restaurants are as spectacular as they are distinct. Baia serves traditional Dominican fare, La Cave is a rum and cigar speakeasy, and Aguají reinterprets Indigenous Taíno cuisine with French technique.  

To hell with the haters—Times Square is a hoot and a half. A neon-drenched fantasmagoria of street performers, wide-eyed tourists, and historical landmarks, it’s the manic heart of Gotham. The electrified core of the Big Apple.

Tempo by Hilton Times Square boasts impeccable service, sleek design, and views as intoxicating as the jet-fuel martinis from the lobby bar. In urbane suites, beds lie next to floor-to-ceiling windows that frame forests of skyscrapers, Central Park, and the Hudson River. All the chemists at Pfizer could not engineer a more potent aphrodisiac. 

If you do venture out, book Broadway tickets through the concierge, or stroll a few blocks to Jimmy’s Corner, the finest dive bar in all five boroughs.

The Magic Boot is romantic from top to bottom, but Milan exudes its own special poetry. A capital of haute fashion, it’s a city that relishes beauty, luxury, and art of display. 

The arcaded central piazza of Portrait Milano alludes to its origins as a 16th-century seminary. During Milan Fashion Week, the stately courtyard serves as the runway for Ferragamo, the family that owns the hotel. With bathrooms adorned with Carrara marble, bars stocked with artisanal confections, and beds cloaked in silken linens, accommodations epitomize Italian elegance. On-property restaurants include 10_11, serving gourmet Milanese classics, and Beefbar, a flashy steakhouse originally from Monaco.

A seaside metropolis of wine bars, temples of gastronomy, and dreamy architecture, the Catalan capital is made for lovers. As a vermouth-soaked poet once said, “If you can’t seduce her in Barcelona, señor, you can’t anywhere.” 

In Barcelona’s Gothic Quarter, a medieval warren of cobblestone alleys, cafés, and wine bars, The Mercer Hotel Barcelona is a masterwork by Pritzker Prize–winning architect Rafael Moneo. The hotel unites five ancient buildings, with Roman walls and medieval frescoes on view throughout. Service matches the opulence of the aesthetics: the Mercer boasts both a Michelin Key and a Les Clefs d’Or–certified concierge team.

The tasting menu at Mercer Restaurant, helmed by chef Xavier Lahuerta, an El Bulli alum, is a paean to Catalonia’s food and wine. Foams, powders, and other playful touches of molecular gastronomy, avant-garde cooking techniques pioneered at El Bulli, embellish many of his dishes. Next door, Le Bouchon serves classic Catalonian tapas—think fried artichoke, fresh sardines in olive oil, and gloriously rich Romesco sauce.

There’s exactly one appropriate setting for leaning over and whispering, “save a horse, ride a cowboy.” It’s beneath the Wyoming stars, curled up by an outdoor fire pit with a purty lady and a bottle of good bourbon. 

Half an hour from Jackson Hole, Lost Creek Ranch & Spa is a working cattle ranch with ten luxury guest cabins. Cowboy-chic quarters come with plush beds, stone fireplaces, and porches looking out at the majestic Grand Tetons. Work up an appetite in the morning with horseback riding or fly-fishing before an al fresco feast of steaks and fresh vegetables charred over open flames. 

Kobe is one of Japan’s great gastronomic cities, with dazzling regional delicacies far beyond its eponymous beef. Long a cosmopolitan port, its cuisine reflects centuries of trade, blending flavors from Holland, France, and China.

Housed in a handsome Georgian Revival mansion, Kobe Kitano was once an Ijinkan, the residence of a wealthy European merchant. The lobby is a debonaire as a Victorian aristocrat’s drawing room, adorned with elegant woodwork, antiques, and polished chessboards. The hotel holds the prestigious Relais & Châteaux designation, a mark of excellence in both hospitality and gastronomy.

In homage to Kobe’s deep ties to Europe, Restaurant Ash blends French and Japanese cuisines. Expect generous portions of wagyu beef, sashimi, and mountain produce prepared with Franco-Japanese artistry.

In the foothills of the Canadian Rockies, Calgary is a popular base camp for excursions to Banff, Lake Louise, and Jasper National Park. It’s also one of North America’s most criminally underrated cities—home to legendary steak houses, quirky neighborhoods, and all the rootin’-tootin’ revelry of The Stampede each July. 

Opened in 1914 as a railway hotel, The Fairmont Palliser is a sandstone chateau overlooking the Bow River. With polished marble halls, immaculate decor, and vintage charm, the Palliser is the favored hotel in Calgary for visiting British royals. In recent years, Calgary has quietly become a cocktail hotspot, with Missy’s This That and Shelter winning international accolades. 

A fairy land of truffles, chestnuts, and rolling emerald hills, Piedmont is as heavenly as a plate of agnolotti al tartufo paired with an aged Nebbiolo. 

Perched above the sleepy village of Santa Vittoria d’Alba, Castello di Santa Vittoria is a boutique auberge built atop a medieval fortress dating back to around 1000 A.D. Two ancient watchtowers still stand sentinel, relics of the structure’s martial past.

Al Castello, the hotel’s restaurant, crafts soulful Piedmontese dishes like zucchini risotto, truffled pastas, and braises that taste like autumn in a bowl. Pair such exquisite delicacies with Roero’s coveted DOCG Nebbiolo or Arneis, the region’s floral white. 

The tasting rooms in Roero are among the best in northern Italy. Tribaldi, run by a pair of winsome sisters, and Morra, master-artists of Arneis, are must-visits. And no tirp to Peidmont is complete without eating your weight in tuffles. Join a truffle-hunting excursion with Azienda Agricola Aloi Luca—a day spent strolling chestnut groves with absurdly adorable four-legged foragers.