The Scoville scale is what determines the spiciness of a pepper. For reference, a jalapeño starts at 3,500 Scovilles and a habanero starts at 100,000 Scovilles. We consider ourselves fans of spicy food, but even a habanero (there are about five or so that can be hotter) thrown into a queso dip can be a bit much for us. Which is why we find it completely ridiculous that anyone would make a Vodka that rates 100,000 Scovilles on the tasting scale… but they did. Does it taste like burning? Probably. Will you have a serious case of Montezuma’s Revenge after consuming it? Most likely. Is it still completely worth it just so you can say you drank fire and survived? Most definitely. All we’re saying is,  there’s a reason the bottle is adorned with a skull and crossbones. Are you man enough? $51

Try as we might, we’ve never been able to go completely paperless. No amount of “notebook” apps will ever replace the strange sense of accomplishment we get from actually writing something down in a notebook with a pen or pencil. It’s a chance to use all those writing skills you used in grade school and something you can reference later. You also get bonus points for not being the guy on his phone all the time. Plus, notebooks just look cool. But you can take the whole thing one step further by putting a selvedge denim notebook cover on your Moleskine. Each of the covers is made of 13oz indigo selvedge from Cone Mills (read: the stuff pricey jeans are made out of) and includes an unruled Moleskine (in case you don’t have one) and  #2 Schoolhouse pencil. Your notebook’s going to look so good that your jeans will be jealous. $30

For most of you reading this, Ramen isn’t an acceptable food substitute anymore. Knowing how to grill the perfect patty and slap some cheese on it is a skill, but you need to know your way around a few other dishes as well. We’re not going to claim we’re anywhere near as talented as Alton Brown or Bobby Flay, but we do know one very important thing: you need good knives, and these knives from Schmidt Brothers Cutlery might be just what you’re looking for. The stainless steel blades in the knives are all but standard these days, but the Schmidt Brothers also added a patented curve near the edge of the blade to rest your forefinger while guiding the knife. Available in everything from steak knife sets to full collections with wooden blocks, each set will take you one step closer to Food Network territory. $10+

How many times have you looked up at the mantle in your living room and thought, “Man, a shot of the Kwik-E-Mart would look perfect there, wouldn’t it?” Countless, right? Even if you never thought sticking a shot of Springfield up on your wall would make for a fine display, Tim Doyle will make you realize that’s just the case.  In his “Unreal Estate” series, Doyle takes fictional locales we’re scarily familiar with and gives them the high-end art treatment. If The Simpsons aren’t your scene, you can decorate with some work inspired by Arrested Development, Seinfeld or The Sopranos and inform your guests you have a sofa cushion with a permanent ass-print in it. $40+

Outside of the cool gadgets, Minority Report was an almost completely forgettable film. The dialog was bad and the acting was worse, but everyone wanted a touch screen computer they could swipe things across when it came out… and now everyone has iPads. That hard part is already done and all you’re left with is figuring out what to do with the little tablet that could when you’re using the big screen for computing. Wonder no more because HoverBar is here. Connect it to your iMac, cabinets or anything else up to 1″ thick to put your iPad2 at eye (or steering wheel) level. For business expense purposes, you can use it to FaceTime conference with clients. But it also works for racing games, Pandora, Netflix, Words with Friends and every other app you use to distract yourself while pretending to work. Why buy a second monitor to multi-task when you can use the iPad2 you already have to multi-compute? $80

Have you ever looked at a Brooks saddle seat for your bike and thought to yourself “I like it, but what if some random guy down the street buys the same seat?” No? Just us? We digress. Leather seats for bikes are really cool, but what if some other guy you know buys the same exact seat? Your seat still feels good, and it’s still cool, but it’s just not quite as exclusive. Alden Bike Seats combines our love of all things footwear and all things two-wheeled with a new line of bike seats that are as unique as the shoes they’re based on. Whether you ride a BMX, a mountain bike or a fixie, your ride will benefit from a seat upgrade based on the brogueing details of a fine pair of shoes. $100+

Do you remember a time when a proper home audio system cost thousands of dollars and required separate cabinets just to house a bunch of different pieces of audio equipment that we would consider ugly by today’s standards?  We do. We also happen to consider ourselves pretty technologically savvy, but setting those systems up required a degree in electrical engineering and when all was said and done, you couldn’t even hook up your iPhone without getting interference. The Loewe Soundvision is pricey, but it’s worth it considering the features. You can dock your iPod or iPhone, connect with Wi-Fi, Bluetooth or even ethernet (if you want to run cables), or just throw in a CD. It also has its own apps and radio accessed through the touchscreen. Any of those options get you access to high quality sound from two full range speakers and two amps. Best of all, no geek squad required. $1975

Zen Threads caught our eye because their tees look strikingly similar to the styles you can easily spend $40 on, but they are available in a variety of color options for less than half the price. Born from an artist’s dream to turn art into an affordable object, they manage to create that desirable vintage look, using fresh subject matter and by applying graphics using water-based inks so that they feel like they’re part of the garment. $18

Once you hit a certain age (30 plus or minus five years for most of us), it’s not really ok to gather around a plastic folding table with red Solo cups filled with domestic piss water and see who gets drunk the fastest. We’ll never turn down a game of flippy cup or beer pong, but we also can’t get away with having people over just for that. A scotch tasting though, that’s a whole different story. Proof Whisky takes all of the work out of hosting a tasting, and turns it into a game, with their new iPad optimized website. Input your guests, the whiskys you have to drink and Bob’s your uncle. It even has templates for you to print out to set the glasses on so no one can cheat when they try to guess what distillery they’re consuming from right now. $FREE

Like it or not, the status of Valentine’s Day as a Hallmark Holiday is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if we believe that because she doesn’t. Even the most frugal, “I don’t want chocolates and flowers” types secretly want to impress their co-workers with stories of romance and intrigue. Gentlemen, you’re not savages, so give her what she wants. This is everything you need to dress it up a bit for a night on the town, an escape to a hotel, or just some quality alone time. Just remember, don’t screw this up or she might forget about Steak & BJ Day next month.

1. J. Crew Heart Boxers – $19

2. Red Richer Poorer Socks – $12

3. TSOVET SVT-QS40 – $360

4. Hotel Tonight App (Android and iOS) – Free

5. I Effing Love You Valentine’s Day Card – $5

6. Kaweco Liliput Al Fountain Pen – $55

7. Bonobos Power Cords – $98

8. Ensign Pea Coat – $170

9. Jack Robie “Luke” Shirt – $105

10. Jack Spade Bones Money Clip – $65

Steve McQueen has the Midas touch when it comes to things for guys. Persol sunglasses, Rolex watches, t-shirts, Ford Bullitt mustangs and Triumph motorcycles are just a few of the things guys everywhere lust after due (in no small part) to McQueen. He obviously loved all of that stuff, but he had a special place in his heart for Triumph motorcycles. Triumph is returning the favor by producing a special edition Steve McQueen motorcycle for 2012. Each member of the 1100 bike collection is based off of the Bonneville T100, individually numbered and painted to match the military style matte green finish of the bike McQueen insisted on riding during The Great Escape. A solo rider seat and black luggage rack have also been developed and fitted specially for this bike. If McQueen were alive, he’d love this bike. $TBD