“You’ve died of dysentery.” “You have typhoid.” “You shot 2,000 pounds of meat but will be able to carry back only 200 pounds with the help of party members.” If the previous phrases mean anything to you, listen up. Travel Oregon took everyone’s favorite wagon adventure and updated it for 2017. Not the graphics, mind you; they updated what’s included, opting for some stereotypical Portland, Oregon, things. You can play as a yoga teacher or an apple farmer. You travel in what looks like a Volvo or Subaru. You stock up on artisanal coffee, craft beer, and kombucha. Then you travel around Oregon, visiting breweries, hitting the falls, and trying not to let your passengers’ phones die or your check engine light to come on. Say goodbye to your afternoon.