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Awkward wedding speeches are up there in the pantheon of embarrassing moments we wish we could either take back or un-hear. We’ve all witnessed them, or worse, delivered them: sordid tales of exes, drunk apologies, and painful attempts at profundity that took off like a deflating party balloon. We can’t undo the past, but you can save yourselves. Now, you can hire Tinseltown Toasts, a crack team of award-winning Hollywood screenwriters to save your sad bacon on wedding day, whether it’s your own or someone else’s. They boast such accolades as two Golden Globe nominations, a Writer’s Guild Award nomination, and a GLAAD nomination. Each speech, vow, or toast is custom-written for you after the team interviews you and will send you drafts after assessing your relationship with the honoree, bride, groom, whatever have you. And they’re not limited to weddings but will also write eulogies, roasts, and even craft the perfect set of words to end a relationship, making the line, “breakin’ up is hard to do” the best kind of falsity.

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People have been using diamond jewelry to say “I love you,” for years. But if you’ve ever taken a gander at the selection of diamonds out there, you know not all of them are created equal. With cut, clarity, color, and carat on the table, diamonds can range in price and value. With so many choices out there, it can be hard to know if you’re getting the best deal–that’s where Yadav Diamonds & Jewelry comes in. Yadav is all about ethical diamonds at the best price possible regardless of your setting of choice.