Awkward wedding speeches are up there in the pantheon of embarrassing moments we wish we could either take back or un-hear. We’ve all witnessed them, or worse, delivered them: sordid tales of exes, drunk apologies, and painful attempts at profundity that took off like a deflating party balloon. We can’t undo the past, but you can save yourselves. Now, you can hire Tinseltown Toasts, a crack team of award-winning Hollywood screenwriters to save your sad bacon on wedding day, whether it’s your own or someone else’s. They boast such accolades as two Golden Globe nominations, a Writer’s Guild Award nomination, and a GLAAD nomination. Each speech, vow, or toast is custom-written for you after the team interviews you and will send you drafts after assessing your relationship with the honoree, bride, groom, whatever have you. And they’re not limited to weddings but will also write eulogies, roasts, and even craft the perfect set of words to end a relationship, making the line, “breakin’ up is hard to do” the best kind of falsity.
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Byrna’s Stylish Ballistapac Quickly Converts to Body Armor
If you thought you had a backpack that did it all, you’ve obviously never seen the Byrna Ballistipac. The Byrna Ballistipac is a bulletproof backpack that provides peace of mind and added protection in emergency situations. With its selection of armored panels, the Ballistipac can shield against bullets and other projectiles, making it a valuable tool for survival in dangerous and otherwise life-threatening situations. Oh yeah, and it works as a backpack too so you can carry all your essential survival gear and daily essentials. Upgrade your personal security with the Byrna Ballistipac today.
