Tinseltown-Toasts-Will-Write-Your-Speech-and-Vows

Awkward wedding speeches are up there in the pantheon of embarrassing moments we wish we could either take back or un-hear. We’ve all witnessed them, or worse, delivered them: sordid tales of exes, drunk apologies, and painful attempts at profundity that took off like a deflating party balloon. We can’t undo the past, but you can save yourselves. Now, you can hire Tinseltown Toasts, a crack team of award-winning Hollywood screenwriters to save your sad bacon on wedding day, whether it’s your own or someone else’s. They boast such accolades as two Golden Globe nominations, a Writer’s Guild Award nomination, and a GLAAD nomination. Each speech, vow, or toast is custom-written for you after the team interviews you and will send you drafts after assessing your relationship with the honoree, bride, groom, whatever have you. And they’re not limited to weddings but will also write eulogies, roasts, and even craft the perfect set of words to end a relationship, making the line, “breakin’ up is hard to do” the best kind of falsity.

Three-Jerks-IF2

Beef jerky is a keto-friendly, low calorie and high-protein snack that’s easy to pack, eat and travel with. But all beef jerky is not created equal. Skip the usual options in favor of premium, 100% filet mignon Three Jerks Original Beef Jerky. This old school jerky flavor hits all the right notes of salty, sweet and tangy with just the right amount of black pepper to round it out. What’s more, because it’s made with only tender filets that have been marinated to perfection, you’ll get that perfect jerky texture on every piece that comes out of the bag.