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Awkward wedding speeches are up there in the pantheon of embarrassing moments we wish we could either take back or un-hear. We’ve all witnessed them, or worse, delivered them: sordid tales of exes, drunk apologies, and painful attempts at profundity that took off like a deflating party balloon. We can’t undo the past, but you can save yourselves. Now, you can hire Tinseltown Toasts, a crack team of award-winning Hollywood screenwriters to save your sad bacon on wedding day, whether it’s your own or someone else’s. They boast such accolades as two Golden Globe nominations, a Writer’s Guild Award nomination, and a GLAAD nomination. Each speech, vow, or toast is custom-written for you after the team interviews you and will send you drafts after assessing your relationship with the honoree, bride, groom, whatever have you. And they’re not limited to weddings but will also write eulogies, roasts, and even craft the perfect set of words to end a relationship, making the line, “breakin’ up is hard to do” the best kind of falsity.

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Whether you’re driving up the coast, grilling out and spending time at the beach, sunglasses are an absolute necessity in the summer. We’ve tried all the options from expensive, established brands to the no-name knockoffs from the gas station. We keep coming back to Woodies wooden sunglasses because they’re stylish, effective, built-to-last and, most importantly, affordable enough that you won’t worry if they get lost during your adventures. With almost 100 styles–including full wood options that float in the water–there’s no better sunglasses option out there this year. Get your Woodies today.