Office-Warfare-900

Staying sane while spending hours in a cubicle is difficult. You’re constantly at war with claustrophobia, aching kneecaps and, at times, the guy sitting next to you. Whether mean-spirited or not, an office war requires the right arsenal of weapons, and you don’t want to show up unprepared for any workplace shenanigans. Here are some devious little items to get you started.

1. Airzooka Air Gun – $13
2. Executive Elite Marshmallow Blaster – $55
3. Monitor Rear-view Mirror – $10
4. SpyNet Laser Trip Wire – $40
5. Micro Sonic Grenade – $15
6. Electric Paper Plane Launcher Kit – $13
7. Spitballs – $5
8. Phantom Keystroker V2 – $10
9. Rubber Band Gatling Gun – $499
10. USB Rocket Launcher – $25
11. Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction – $12
12. Rubber Band Shooter Supreme – $8
13. Silverlit I/R Heli Blaster – $57

Parachute-CM-IF2-11-13-17

Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.