Today’s lesson in how to write marketing copy to make your product sound f’ing amazing comes to you from the good people at Diesel. Their two new Sandstorm Watches (DZ1349 and DZ1350) have descriptions that start exactly the same. “Sandstorm. It’s a steel mesh throwdown cased in strong lines and black IP. Sure to bypass style roadblocks, this military-tough analog timeframe features… blah, blah, blah.” Not to go all Jerry Maguire on you Diesel, but you had us at hello. Or sandstorm. Both have analog movements, contrasting yellow second hands, mesh detailing, and genuine camel leather bands. The DZ1349 sports a squared face and the DZ1350 goes for the classic round but has an inset crown. Oh yeah, and sandstorm. See? It’s brilliant.