decked-out-ron-swanson

There’s no way that we (or any man other than Swanson himself) could fully address the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness with any amount of Decked Out posts. Hell, it wouldn’t even be possible to emulate half of the things if we shaved our heads, unfriended all the people we went to high school with on Facebook and switched to a completely protein based diet. But seeing as how Parks and Recreation comes back for a fifth season this week, we’re gonna take a crack at it anyways. Here’s everything you need to put a little more Swanson in your life.

1. Best Made Co. Hudson Bay Axe – $250
2. Ace x Billykick Comb Case – $45
3. Sizzling Bacon Candle – $16
4. Polo Ralph Lauren Plaid Sport Shirt – $98
5. Dangerous Threads Heavy Duty Brown Leather Belt – $25
6. Dockers Signature Khaki Coffee Bean – $58
7. Citizen Eco Drive Calibre 2100 Watch – $447
8. Oregon Wild Hair Moustache Wax – $10
9. Traditional Metal Lunchbox – $66
10. Messograf Caliper Pen – $28
11. Standard Green Coffee Mug – $11
12. Florsheim Berkley Loafers – $100

Breza-CM-IF2-2-19-1

Whether you’re trying to refine your archery skills or just get a leg up on the competition when it comes to office warfare, the BB Sniper mini crossbow from Uncommon Carry will fit the bill. Handmade out of stainless steel and equipped with a self-loading chamber, the BB Sniper is designed to hurl projectiles like toothpicks or mini BBs with surprising accuracy at a range of about 30-50 feet. Make sure to schedule some time for target practice because this addictive little crossbow can do some damage. Have fun, but avoid the sensitive areas.