decked-out-ron-swanson

There’s no way that we (or any man other than Swanson himself) could fully address the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness with any amount of Decked Out posts. Hell, it wouldn’t even be possible to emulate half of the things if we shaved our heads, unfriended all the people we went to high school with on Facebook and switched to a completely protein based diet. But seeing as how Parks and Recreation comes back for a fifth season this week, we’re gonna take a crack at it anyways. Here’s everything you need to put a little more Swanson in your life.

1. Best Made Co. Hudson Bay Axe – $250
2. Ace x Billykick Comb Case – $45
3. Sizzling Bacon Candle – $16
4. Polo Ralph Lauren Plaid Sport Shirt – $98
5. Dangerous Threads Heavy Duty Brown Leather Belt – $25
6. Dockers Signature Khaki Coffee Bean – $58
7. Citizen Eco Drive Calibre 2100 Watch – $447
8. Oregon Wild Hair Moustache Wax – $10
9. Traditional Metal Lunchbox – $66
10. Messograf Caliper Pen – $28
11. Standard Green Coffee Mug – $11
12. Florsheim Berkley Loafers – $100

Parachute-CM-IF2-11-13-17

Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.