After exploring the world of gorgeous supermodels naked in the Amazon (not the website) with our tour guide Terry Richardson, we came to the conclusion that he has a job that most men would die, or kill, for. Everyone has a vice; it could be women, cars, spirits, ice cream or music, it just depends on the individual. We set out to find the guys who are doing the things we enjoy doing on a regular basis – but they’re getting paid for it. The only thing you need to figure out by yourself is where to sign up.
You can read all about Terry’s accomplishments and accolades while checking out the Pirelloi 2010 Calendar, but you would gladly sacrifice yourself to be him. As a final parting thought about his job, when was the last time you got to suck on the digits of the Gossip Girls? Just sayin’.
Jonathan Cutler (middle) is the Brewmaster for Piece Brewery and Pizzeria in Chicago. Saying that Jonathan is good at his job is like saying Usain Bolt is good at running. Cutler (for his work at Piece) has earned eighteen medals (compared to Bolt’s 16) and also received the World Beer Cup Champion Small Brewery and Brewmaster Award. Jonathan is the grown-up equivalent of the Candy Man – he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good. Not only that, he drinks for free… all the time.
Tarantino may be responsible for award winning films like Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill(s), and Inglourious Basterds, but he used to be a lowly clerk in a video store. He managed to turn his passion for film into one of the most successful Hollywood “bootstraps” story – without ever setting foot in a film school. If any of us were to blatantly display our foot fetish in the modern media like he does we would be excommunicated and disowned. With Tarantino it just becomes another part of his genius. Love him or hate him, he gets to do what he loves for a living… and get paid exorbitant sums of money for it.
You know who Ben & Jerry are, but they didn’t make their boutique ice cream shop the global powerhouse it is all by their lonesome – they had help. Derek Spors was an “ice cream scientologist” whose sole job was the creation of new flavors for Ben & Jerry’s. He was often tasked with going to restaurants and ordering every dessert on the menu, taking trips to trendy new restaurants, and tasting ice cream all day. Sounds like a very horrid existence. Somehow he managed to get his creations into approximately 67% of the homes in America (Ok. The statistic is made-up, but everyone loves Ben & Jerry’s so it HAS to be a big number.) and maintain relative anonymity. Granted, he’s not going to be mauled on the street for autographs, or chased by the pap – but he manages to stay socially connected with LinkedIn and a website without having a picture of himself on the Internet. That, in and of itself, may be more impressive than eating ice cream all day. On second thought, eating ice cream all day sounds pretty damn delicious.
There are only a few jobs that afford you rock star luxuries (fame, fortune, drugs) without the obvious risks (disease, selling out, one-hit-wondering) and being a concert promoter is one of them. Bill Graham just happens to be one of the most famous. He ran both Fillmores and Winterland and rubbed elbows with the likes of the Stones and the Dead. Instead of buying tickets to see a concert at an overcrowded, expensive, dilapidated venue, just call the band up and have them rock YOUR venue – V.I.P. style. Sounds like a pretty sweet gig.
When you’re Jeremy Clarkson every day is casual Friday. You can wear jeans to the office every day because the office is a decommissioned airfield and hangar. Regular journalists may get special access to events or even cool new products to test. Enjoy your new wallet because Bugatti just delivered a Veyron to Clarkson so he could race it against a jet – or a Cessna – or a McLaren F1 – or drive to 253mph. Some say he refuses to drive cars that won’t spontaneously catch on fire, and he hates the smell of hair care products because it overpowers the gasoline smell. All we know is he’s called Jezzer.
Eran was a geek interested in music; Alex was a musician interested in geek. They met at MIT in the Media Lab and then founded Harmonix. That is how your Friday night was born and countless millions discovered the music their parents were listening to decades before. Do they have to tell people what to do and rock out with plastic instruments on the conference room table? Yeah, they do, but they also get to play video games all day. Is there anyone that doesn’t want to play video games all day? Now that’s “star power.”
Madness? MADNESS?!?!?! This. Is. A. Dream. Joooobbbbbbbbbbb. You’ve seen 300, The Dark Knight, Sin City, and probably seen something inspired by Miller’s film-noir style comics, writing, and graphic novels. He gets to set his own hours, turn down calls from Stan Lee and New Line Cinema, and leverage his words by the thousands when he turns them into pictures and movies. When asked about his inspiration, Miller had this to say – “I like to draw hot chicks, fast cars and cool guys in trench coats. So that’s what I write about.” The autobiographical graphic novel turned screenplay turned film is sure to be epic.
Think Jeremy Clarkson except with guns. He transitioned from his role as a Marine Drill Instructor into starring roles in films like Full Metal Jacket and Toy Story. Now he has Lock N’ Load on the History Channel, which is basically an exploration of weapons – both primitive and modern. One week he might be shooting traditional Chinese dynasty rockets; the following he could be testing the M134D 3,000 rounds per minute Mini-Gun. Big guns, big voice, big balls – he’s not a celebrity, he’s a role model. When you fire guns and yell all day you can get away with murder…even if it involved unscrewing someone’s head and shitting down their neck. OOHRAH!
Leave a comment below telling us your dream job. On Wednesday 2/3 we’ll choose a winner who can select any item from our Men’s Gift Guide for under $50
© 2012 Dartboard Media
massage therapist for models.
Backstage wardrobe stylist for every Victoria Secret Fashion show.
Sean Combs (aka P. Diddy) – Recording Artist/Entrepreneur/Urban Gentleman
Who wouldn’t want that lifestyle?
Anthony Bourdain’s job would be my dream job…gets to travel, eat, have a good time, and be paid a lot.
being a concert promoter involves a lot of long hours, and lost hearing – it’s definitely not all it’s cracked up to be.
Oh, and my dream job? Pie tester. MMMmmmmmm pie.
it happens penguin falls on its back and nobody can help it to stand up. that is why there is a special man who cares after fallen penguins and helps them to keep alive. I wanna have this job: Pole, white snow and me
This is an easy one for me – Travel writer.
The chance to travel around the world and see all the places I’ve read about in National Geographic throughout the years.
Hey that’s the Hop Cast with Jonathan Cutler!
I’d go for the brewmaster job. I’m a homebrewer and a chemical engineer, so getting to play with the big brewing equipment would be a lot of fun.
I want to be a subway token person, just like that guy I saw sleeping on T.V!!
Gene Simmons – Get to be the Demon all day long and have hot women throw themselves at you.
Although nowadays he is in his footsie jammies by 9pm…
But I would like to be Terry Richardson for day as well!
uhh… Mythbusters?
I read the R. Lee Ermey section in his voice.
I would want to be a professional mattress tester…
pro skateboarder.
get paid pretty good money, travel around the world, and have no schedule at all. The only responsibility would be to sign a few autographs and have someone film you do what you already do for free.
I DO have a job most men would like to have ….. i know because, almost everyday, more than just a few tell me so!
I work freelance (my own boss, my own descisions!)as a guitar tech for many different major metal and hard-rock bands. I hang with rock stars all day, sleep in late – even on work days, make great money , travel the world, and have several, WILLING AND READY! women around me at backstage or overnight parties so frequently … it gets almost boring sometimes.
You can keep all those jobs listed in this article … sorry, they just DON’T compare.
talk show host for a traveling food show + fitness show in one (to avoid the weight gain!)
Hugh Hefner, founder of Playboy :]
an internationaly recognized comic creator
My dream job would be a concert promoter, since the only thing that i find solace in is music i think that would be a terrific job, that or a sound mixer.
For my “Dream Job,” I would like to own a chain of Bikini Wax / Bra Fitting franchises. I would have weekend specials on Taint Bleaching and full body spray tan applications. The cost of all services would be based on weight and/or body odor. I haven’t worked out the name yet, but I’d certainly have to reference KFC somehow. Colonel Handers? Chicks and Waffles? I’ll work on it.
My 12yr of experience, $40 an hour journeyman electrician position (laid-off since May). You know keep the house and car, support my family, all that mundane s**t.
Thong Designer
George Steinbrenner in his prime. Own the Yankees, say whatever you want, I’d take it.
Best job ever, Pyrotechnician, blow stuff up for bands like Metallica, GNR, Maiden, Rush, KISS and a ton of others. Work with fire and ice effects And you get to tour with kickass bands. It’s a win win.
comic book artist
I have a dream job. I am an anthropologist/archaeologist and I spend my time traveling to many places and visiting with and learning about how people in different places and diffeenet times live. For a people-watcher, this is an ideal job and I love it. When I go away, friends ask me if I am going away for plasure or for work. I respond yes!!
Are you kidding me man. Number one is Hugh Hefner life. what the fuck? Your head is up your ass with this post!!!
I dare say it would have been nice to be the “inventor” of that silly little thing that seems be really catching on. What are the kids calling it these days? Ahh, ummm, oh yeah, Microsoft. That would be sweet. If not that, being the worlds greatest computer hack ever might suffice. Just think about how nice it would digitally pilfer the accounts of every drug lord on the face of the planet provided you could get clean away with it.
Beyonce..rich,talented,beautiful,popular..
who wouldn’t want that?!
my dream job would be to grow legal cannabis.
We tallied up a whopping 5 votes and we have a winner. In our next lives we want to be Freelance Guitar Techs – the music, the tours, the groupies AND you get to sleep late? Sold!
Congrats “Me leaves a comment!” we’ll shoot you an email shortly.
J-Lo used to have someone touring with her whose job it was to tweek her nipples. What a job that would be.
“Sean Combs (aka P. Diddy) – Recording Artist/Entrepreneur/Urban Gentleman
Who wouldn’t want that lifestyle?”
Anyone who doesnt like being a douche.
Country music bass player. All the royalties, fame, cow girls, and you only have to know 3 notes!
How about an animal psychologist? I knew one in Calif. Where do you get a degree for that? Can’t be sued for malpractice, and the guy even set up 2 times a week sessions for a dog that was moving out of state. All for the paltry sum of $150/hr. THAT is a job!
not to dis concert promoting as a job, but Bill Graham’s been dead for maybe 10 yrs? Granted, his job now is pretty easy, but laying in a moldy box 6 ft underground 24x7x365 is not ideal in my book… I think the guitar tech has it nailed!
Professional wine reviewer, you get to travel, drink, eat great food….drink.
Rocco Siffredi. Best job ever.
I know all of you are thinking it but no one is saying it, so ill say it……
MALE PORNSTAR!!
i dont get it? was that not obvious?
I’d want the Harmonix job. I’m a woman though.
I teach male anatomy to female med students… It is like a braille anatomy class. They use me to learn all about male anatomy. It is a hands on class… I love my work!
bill gates. need i say more.
Long-snapper in the NFL.200 grand a year and the best seat in the stadium for about 6 snaps a game.
photographer for playboy and hustler
Fitting specialist in a lingerie store
Frank Miller has basically always been my God, i love the mans work
Those guys that review gourmet restaurants
And those who find out video game codes
RUSS MEYER, gazillion Xs better than Tarentino
JUNKYARD WARS whatever!
ERRR…WTF … hugh hefner?
I know all of you are thinking it but no one is saying it, so ill say it……
MALE PORNSTAR!!
i dont get it? was that not obvious?
posted by the man
on February 11th, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Are you sure about that i dont but i guess there is porn movies for gays. you should clarify that.
in other words just get money,success or sth different you dont need be porn star to hook up someone.
I AM a brewmaster. Does that mean I win?
Remember Michael Jackson? The dead one? No, the LONG dead one? He had the greatest job in the world.
If you don’t know who I mean, he was known as “The Beer Hunter”.
Porn star and weed quality tester
Richard Branson is the man. He owns his own island and just rolls in dough.
BE A PHOTOGRAGHER IS A DREAM
designing really shitty things then getting a laugh because some marketing genius sells them for an extraordinary amount of money
))) it’s sooooo much fun 
I’d like to pick the winner!
Sniper
Hi! My dream job would be a product tester! Need to test cross cuntry skis, new hotels, massage cream, clothes, sexual items, and goto different locales to test them? I’d love that!
I wanna be Sidney Crosby
What you guys seem to forget is that after a while, its a job just like any other, no matter how great it sounds…. you get calloused to it.
Do you have any idea how often I hear about how I have the greatest job in the world? Minimum a few times a week.
What do I do?
I am a bouncer at a large, famous, and extremely popular strip club. I meet celebrities and sports players regularly, oh, and did I mention we have about 150 girls that work there? That’s 300 very perky bare titties that rub against me on a regular basis! Did I mention we’re a full-nude club? No wussy topless-only stuff! And no, we don’t hire anything and everything here, if a girl’s not at least an 8.5 out of 10, she can work somewhere else. We have a lot of girls that are without a doubt Playboy magazine quality.
BUT
Remember I said it becomes just a job after a while? There are low points, too..
-Dealing with drunken idiots
-Cleaning up broken glass and puke
-Idiots pulling knives, guns, etc. because you threw ‘em out
-Dealing with police because you removed someone who wouldn’t leave willingly, now because you dragged them out and embarrassed them they want to charge you with assault, even if you didn’t hurt them in the slightest (even if you really really wanted to)
-abusive drunken club owner for a boss
So you see, its not all just T & A. We put up with a lot of shit in our job. And I’m sure MOST perfect sounding jobs are like that.
You forgot Anthony Bourdain.
The part where you included Jeremy Clarkson, you should have included James May and Richard Hammond as well.