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We don’t have $250 million. You don’t have $250 million. But maybe if we all come together and pool our money we might be able to afford the most expensive home ever listed in America because—shockingly—it may actually be worth it. Consider some of the things included with the 12-bedroom Bel Air mansion. A car collection that includes classics from the ’30s and modern-day supercars. A massage room. A helicopter and matching landing pad. A massage room. A bowling alley. A screening room with 40 Italian leather recliners. Some seriously awesome art. A freaking candy room. A swim up bar. And, honestly, that’s only scratching the surface. The home, which is currently owned by Bruce Makowsky, even comes with a staff that’s been paid for two years of work. Check your damn sofa cushions and get back to us.

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Unzip your coat and have some mulled wine on the house—you’ve arrived at your final gifting destination: The Holiday Gift Guide. It’s like your friendly neighborhood one-stop holiday shop, except instead of balsa wood ornaments, ours is packed with thoughtful gifts for everyone on your list. Future heirlooms, small-but-significant stocking stuffers, and gear for getting out there (or staying in)—are all right here. There’s no music playing in the background though, so you’ll just have to hum Bing Crosby while you click around instead.

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