In an alternate reality, the gender roles of a night out are reversed. Men drink raspberry kamikazes and women dance on men like that one friend you had in college. This video is what that night looks like. We’d tell you more, but we have to go because Taco Bell is closing.

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Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.