You know those slo-mo videos of bullets piercing balloons or pieces of glass that make you stop and realize just how beautiful life is? Us neither. What we do know are those videos that do those things and remind us how badass guns can be. Now replace that bullet with an M5, and you’d get something like this.

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Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.