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We’re just not ready to make the leap into five-toed footwear. You can sit there and tell us the positives, and we’ll keep coming back with the negatives: They look ridiculous. For our lightweight footwear, we’ll turn to the new Nike Free 3.0’s. Launching on January 1, 2013, the new version of the Nike trainers clock in at a measly 9 ounces. It’s not just that they’re like duct taping a couple of feathers to your feet, they also happen to hug the middle of your foot while keeping everything comfortable for some hardcore training. Even if your idea of working out is lifting a heavy beer stein, they just look good too.

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Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.