There’s a 99% chance you’ll be around a grill at some point this Memorial Day Weekend. Included in that 1% of people who aren’t are those too hungover to go outside and face the sun, those who somehow got caught at the office and the .0001% of the population that doesn’t like food off the grill. If you’re the one flipping the burgers and you want to give something new a try, or you want to hang on to a couple recipes for future barbecues, we present: The Web’s Greatest Burger Recipes.
There’s a good chance Billy Joel spent time drowning his sorrows after his divorce with Katie Lee because she would no longer be cooking up these bad-boys for the Piano Man any more. Her Logan County Hamburger, which won the 2009 Burger Bash at the South Beach Food & Wine Festival, is simply brilliant and brilliantly simple. It’s basically a grilled cheese hamburger. Though it sounds like the idea of some stoner (“Dude, let’s put a hamburger in that grilled cheese”) it’s actually a recipe from Katie Lee’s grandmother, and for some reason, recipes from grandmas are just always better.
You could braise anything in beer and we’d devour it by the bowl, plate or trough full. You could braise a stale rice cake in an imperial stout and we’d tuck in a bib and dig in. The meltingly sweet beer-braised onions in this Canadian Burger recipe, along with some good cheddar, make this burger a fairly simple way to really impress a bunch of hungry party-goers. Thank you Canada, it almost single-handedly makes up for Celine Dion.
Do you put fries on this burger? No. Do you inject it with bacon fat? No. Do you spend three days preparing it like it was some elementary school diorama? No. This is simply – The Perfect Burger. No bells or whistles, just a straightforward recipe for a delicious burger. Sometimes we just want a Boston Lager and not some craft brew made with exotic hop varieties. The Perfect Burger recipe gives you the option of kicking it up a notch as Emeril would say, with some flavor stir-ins, but even without them it is, well, perfect.
Let’s get one thing straight, bacon is not a fad. Pogs were a fad. Trucker hats were a fad. Bacon is, well . . . bacon. If you’re ready to dive in to the ultimate bacon loving endeavor, feast your eyes on the 100% Bacon Burger. Yup, there is no ground beef, no turkey and no healthy portobello mushrooms (in fact there is nothing healthy at all) in this burger. The patty is formed from, as the name suggests, 100% Pavlovian saliva inducing bacon. Just get some quality stuff and use your meat grinder or meat grinder attachment for the Kitchen Aid mixer you got off your registry and get to work. The amazing thing about bacon, it’s not like the day after eating one or two of these you’ll be like, “Man, I think I’ve had enough bacon for a while.”
You have a few options if you’re looking to create a healthier burger, you know to counteract all the beers you’ll be having while sweating over the grill. Two of the options are either going with a veggie burger or cooking patties made from bison. This burger takes the two ideas and smushes them together. It’s basically the equivalent of going to the gym! Plus, this burger is smart, the mushroom helps keep the ground bison meat moist so it won’t dry out as easily if you happen to get caught up in a game of horseshoes while they overcook on your Weber. Instead of reaching for a bottle of Heinz, the celery apple slaw makes for a refreshing topping as well.
While you search out the Kogi BBQ truck in hopes of grabbing some Korean tacos, consider taking the Korean BBQ style to the next round of burgers you serve up. Most of the ingredients you’ll have on hand if you’re used to throwing together a quick stir-fry after a long day at the office so as to make it to the couch quicker. Lots of Asian staples are included – soy sauce, ginger, and apparently a tiny version of a South Korean flag – and they make for a super flavorful burger (remove the flag before eating). As a bonus, this recipe comes with beer recommendations for pairing with the burger so you can really impress your guests (we’re fine pairing it with any beer ourselves though).
Whether you are going out and hunting your own venison or are buying it from the store, don’t think because this is a venison burger it is going to make you feel like you just ingested something lighter and healthier than a standard burger. For starters, the venison is mixed with pork sausage and BBQ sauce to make the patties. Second, there’s the whole issue of the entire kitchen cabinet’s worth of stuff you’re going to pile on top making it look like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Forget a pickle and a dab of ketchup, this heart-stopper gets topped with onion rings, avocado, bacon, a ketchup/mustard/mayo mixture and more. Or you could just pull a shelf out of your fridge and dump it on top.
You can thank Luther Vandross for a few tracks on the “Bedroom Mix” on your iPod and, perhaps, for this insane burger. The magic doesn’t really lie in the burger patty itself but more so in the serving apparatus. The standard bun has been traded in for a split open Krispy Kreme Doughnut. If you are still reading and haven’t jumped on to the next burger, good for you, you’re in for a surprising treat. Much like the Large Hadron Collider, we have absolutely know idea how it works, we just know that it does.
While most of the burgers on this list are from foodie’s and bloggers, this meat sandwich comes to us from celebrated chef Daniel Boulud. The chef and restaurateur combines top sirloin and barbecued pulled pork - along with some other goodies including jalapeno for fans of heat - to form the patties. Plus, instead of serving corn as a side, it gets mixed in with the cheddar to form a twist on the standard cheddar cheese burger. Sometimes you got to go to the best to get the best, but that’s not to say we are above telling our guests it’s an original recipe.
If you don’t watch Parks and Recreation you really should. Besides being hilarious, it features Mr. Ron Swanson, a man’s man who sports a mustache thicker than a McDonald’s Triple Thick Shake and a love of strip club dinner buffets. He also happens to be a man who enjoys a heavy diet of meat, as is evident in his idea of a turkey burger – a hamburger with a fried turkey leg inside. Have the shock paddles nearby if you dare undertake the creation and ingestion of this burger. While you may want to inhale this mountain of meat then go off on a hunt and perhaps wrestle a bear, be careful seeing as this is the only burger we know of with a bone in the middle.