Memorial Day is right around the corner, so you’re probably scrambling with all the last minute preparations for the beer fueled, grilled meat decathlon that is the annual barbecue. Since grilling is the ultimate display of all things man, your grill should be a reflection of yourself – and excessively manly. It may be a custom chopper, an engine block, or a gun but one thing is for sure – Weber just won’t do. As men, we do better with visual stimulation so here’s 15 reasons why you need to up your grilled meat game.
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If you need an explanation why powering your grill with HEMI power is better than even charcoal then you’re not a real man.
It might not be powered by beer, but we have a feeling that an operation like that would get expensive anyways. It’s a grill that looks like a keg, what more do you want?
American Chopper may be as played out as Lindsay Lohan’s career, but that doesn’t mean the bikes from the boys at OCC are any less awesome. Created for the restaurant RUB, this rolling death machine burns meat – and rubber.
After countless years of not finishing that project car (we’ve all been there), Trent Whatley decided it was high time to do something useful with that Chevy V8. Instead of sacrificing it to Victory Auto Wreckers like most of us would have done, he converted it into a functional grill.
Do you feel hungry? Well, do ya, punk? The only thing that the Dirty Harry BBQ is missing is the ability to fire flaming chickens.
Leave it to the Australians to find new, ridiculous ways to outdo the Americans. Apparently a Weber or grill shaped like an engine wasn’t good enough, so they gave the Barbie a little plastic surgery (courtesy of a Holden Monaro GTS).
It may have never been a functional engine at any point, but no other grill comes with the ability to sear manliness into meat in quite the same way. Seriously, it sears words into your meat. No one will ever forget who makes the best steaks ever again.
Ed McBride probably played a lot of Dungeons & Dragons in high school. His passion for metal and mythical winged beasts ultimately led to the birth of the grill you see here. If creating this wasn’t a big enough middle finger to all the jocks in high school, he sold it for $65k.
We’ve reached the point where there’s a concept vehicle for everything, so why not a grill? While this will never actually get produced, it’s biodiesel we would use – if for no reason other than the fact it would smell like progress instead of a Chinese restaurant.
You don’t even need to worry about finding some place to sit because this 60 foot long behemoth also includes a seating area. Next stop happiness.
You don’t cook meat with this one – you cook noobs. Yeah, you’re probably going to be hungry, but you’re going to be so precoccupied with all the people yelling wtfbbq you won’t even care.
The Superior Welding Swing-A-Way has officially replaced bags as the best tailgating accessory next to beer.
Leave it to the good ole’ boys in Texas to straight up murder hunger – with a big ass gun. This is exactly why you don’t mess with Texas.
If your custom BMW Power racing truck just doesn’t have the output you’re looking for, the only real option is to add a concealed grill to the bed, right? Agreed.
In case simply seeing David Klose’s “Kind of Barbecues” isn’t enough, the feature list is as stacked as Denise Milani: 160,000 B.T.U. propane burner (boils 20 gallons of cold water in 5 minutes), low temperature smoker, main chamber capable of smoking 100 6lb chickens, and a seven foot long counter-weighted door. Then there’s the solar powered entertainment system which is fit for any man cave: satellite radio, satellite television, Sony WEGA flat screen, DVD player, and DVR. Then just to make sure everyone knows you mean business (just in case a rolling tribute to manhood isn’t enough) it’s outfitted with 24 karat gold rims and door handles.
© 2012 Dartboard Media
“you’re” not “your” please! (next to last entry)
Seriously, your was correct. You’re is you are. Ey yi yi.
Meg, MJ was actually right. There was a second your in that entry that was corrected to you’re. Thanks for keeping us honest. We’ll make sure to flog the copy boy tonight.