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In an age when written pieces are gobbled up in 140 character increments, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency is a true success story. Since its beginning in 1998, the site has been filled with longer-form pieces that are witty, entertaining, and quirky. Now, the best of the best are slapped together into a book for you to peruse when you need a laugh. Included in the collection is, of course, the classic “It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers!” and many other post from McSweeney’s lifespan. You can pre-order your copy now and the book ships on March 18th.

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Your morning routine is begging for Parachute’s towels. What makes them different? Well, Parachute uses an innovative process called Aerocotton Technology, which blows air through the cotton fibers as they’re spun. That means extra fluffy towels that dry quickly. Plus, the towels are made exclusively from premium long-staple Egyptian cotton, which is the best around. Soft, absorbent, and quick-drying—Parachute’s towels offer everything you want. Your new favorite part of a long, hot shower? Drying off.