Ron-F-ing-Swanson-BBQ-Sauce

Besides bucket loads of bacon and eggs, there’s something else Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman on Parks and Recreation if you weren’t aware) has a passion for: Straight up beef. It’s why the man hits a strip club buffet. Now, with Ron F***ing Swanson BBQ Sauce, you can slather your meat (hold the laughter) in something approved by the manliest of men. It’s a thick and rich sauce for your ribs, steaks or any animal that you happened to kill with your bare hands. For added deliciousness, lick your mustache after eating and proceed to whittle yourself a new wooden bib.

Parachute-CM-IF2-11-13-17

Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.