mannaise

Mayonnaise isn’t inherently feminine. While it doesn’t reach the manliest end of the condiment spectrum (the end filled with spicy mustard and hot sauce) it sure as hell isn’t hummus. That being said, it could use a boost in testosterone, and that’s where Mannaise comes in. To beef up some standard mayo, the guys behind Mannaise blended in some roasted jalapenos along with garlic and cream cheese. The result is a bigger batch of flavor that you’ll want to use to add a bit of smoky spice to your burgers and various dishes from here on out. It will also grow hair on your chest and give you the odd urge to whittle.

Parachute-CM-IF2-11-13-17

Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.