marshmallow-crossbow

Hold on to your hats cubicle dwellers, office warfare just took a turn for the awesome. Even though the release of what is sure to become known as the office BFG won’t get recorded in any history books, it isn’t any less important to your daily grind. Why? Because nothing says take those TPS reports and cram them up your ass like a thirty foot range and fifty marshmallows flying through the air. Pull back the plunger, release, repeat. In the event of a jammed bullet or an explosion in the chamber, the magazines are dishwasher safe. In the world of non-lethal warfare, what’s more fun than two barrels of arm powered, potentially gooey, white goodness? Absolutely nothing, so lock and load.

Parachute-CM-IF2-11-13-17

Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.