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The Roundup




What are they putting in the water in DuPage County, Illinois(e)? The college girls are all hot, have questionable morals, and the guys are all… well… morons is really the best way to put it. Some sort of “Military Intelligence” experiment gone horribly awry; or is it just plain lunacy?

Late last night a 19-year-old “college student,” who is also a “man” was charged with three counts of criminal trespass in the podunk rural town Kishwaukee. This alone isn’t anything to write home about, except for the fact that he was charged for rubbing women’s legs. But it gets better.

He was charged for breaking into unlocked apartments. Breaking. Into. Unlocked. Apartments. Dear Kishwaukee Police, you can’t break into something that’s unlocked, you’re just entering uninvited. Could this story possibly get any weirder? It can, and it does.

No other contact was reported. You don’t have to be Einstein to know you’re going to jail for what you’re doing, why not at least bet the farm and get something out of it? Go big or go home. Just do it. Reach for the stars. Be all you can be. At least then the guys in the clink will respect you.