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The Roundup

F the Economy!

F the Economy!


Only in America would anyone be crazy enough to try to profit off of a recession. These 11 products might not be the best use of your money, but they might make you feel a little better to get some of your frustration out while you do your small part to stimulate the economy.


Dow Jones Hanky

The dow is down, WAY down. And yes, it IS sad. Here, have a hanky. The Down Jones Hanky may just be the last unnecessary expensive item that you’ll buy before it really sinks in how much money you lost. And if you’re still confused, for an extra $95 they’ll custom embroider the graph of your own stock portfolio. $28


Under Recession Come Back Later T-shirt

Sorry ladies, I’m broke. Maybe you used to look suave in your 3 piece suit and alligator shoes, but now you just look sad in your Under Recession T-shirt. But at least everyone will know how dead you are inside. $20


F The Economy T-shirt

Say it without being entirely vulgar and offensive. F the Economy! It makes up for not using the whole word by being a really big “F.” Normally we’d say $15 for a t-shirt isn’t half bad, but do you know how much Ramen noodles you could buy with that? $15


Let’s Get Fucked Up! T-shirt

Let’s Get Fucked up Like the economy! Why not? Everything sucks and it’s not getting better anytime soon… there’s no better time to get trashed. This t-shirt demonstrates that whether the chips are up or down your dedication to recreation will never suffer, even if you 401k does.


Inspirational Haiku for A Recessed Economy Book

Yeah, we thought poetry was for girls and foreign nerds, but as it turns it can be a great source of deep inspiration. Just check out our favorite Haiku from Inspirational Haiku for a Recessed Economy:

The toilet is clogged
with devalued stocks and bonds.
Will it overflow?

Wow. That’s deep. $5


This Economy Sucks Bumper Sticker

Captain obvious needs something new to put on his bumper, and here it is, the “This Economy Sucks” Bumper Sticker. Everyone knows it, and this is likely to get people riled up behind you in traffic. It will also explain why you have such a crappy car. (Finally, an excuse!) $2


This Economy Sucks Coin Purse

Seriously, this economy sucks. That’s why you could only afford this flowery coin purse… and why you’re even carrying a coin purse. Remember when your change was simply something to throw at hobos? Those were better times for us all my friend. $4 Source


Fuck the Economy Mug

The Fuck the Economy Mug (or as we like to call it “World’s Best Recession” mug) is a great way to express your thoughts on the subject. Also, it’s great for throwing at the TV when Jim Cramer opens his fucking mouth.


Fuck The Recession T-shirt

Is it ironic that this Fuck the Rescession goes for $65? Maybe it’s a comment on how we shouldn’t let the media scare us into not spending. Or perhaps it’s to encourage spending in order to rebuild a strong economy. Or maybe it’s just a rebellious declaration that you won’t let it get you down. Either way, it’s WAY out of our price range. Instant noodles and thrift store clothing only for us thanks. $65 Source


Stock Market FAIL T-shirt

See, it’s FUNNY rather than terrifying because teenagers are wearing t-shirts with their hip internet lingo stamped across it. The stock Market FAIL t-shirt is as clever as it is a wise purchase… do with that what you will. $15


Anyone need to earn money for rent T-shirt

We’re all broke and it may be time do something desperate and crazy to pay the bills… This t-shirt just puts it out there. Anyone need to earn money for rent T-shirt brings out the worst in all of us to make a few bucks. Our advice… do what this guy asks, because hey, if he’s got enough money to buy a $19 t-shirt, then there’s probably more where that came from. $19