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Hypothetical situation: You and the wife, next to a cracklin’ fire, sippin’ on sparkling vino. Moon’s full, stars are bright, clothes are almost off. Then, all of sudden, a werewolf interrupts your hustle and flow. Good thing you’re wearing your Silver .22mm Bullet Cufflinks, right? Quick thinkin’ has you poppin’ a cap in the canine’s ass, the cork off another bottle of bubbly, and the little lady’s… well, you take can take it from here.

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Your morning routine is begging for Parachute’s towels. What makes them different? Well, Parachute uses an innovative process called Aerocotton Technology, which blows air through the cotton fibers as they’re spun. That means extra fluffy towels that dry quickly. Plus, the towels are made exclusively from premium long-staple Egyptian cotton, which is the best around. Soft, absorbent, and quick-drying—Parachute’s towels offer everything you want. Your new favorite part of a long, hot shower? Drying off.