Facebook Changes We’d Actually Want To See

If you had a dollar for every person who posted their hatred of the new Facebook layout, you’d be able to give Mark Zuckerberg a run for his money.  Okay that’s a guess, and most likely a wrong one, but you get our point.  When Facebook made its most recent set of changes the Preteen Panic Meter hit “Justin Bieber Has A Girlfriend” levels, and while that demographic made the most noise (mostly high-pitched screams), we weren’t too crazy about the adjustments either.  Here are the Facebook Changes We’d Actually Want To See:


























Like this post? Check out part 2:
More Facebook Changes We’d Actually Want To See – Part 2



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  • http://soringheorghitanu.com/ Sorin Gheorghitanu

    Most of these are funny as hell, while the rest could actually be really useful. I’d hate my future boss to see me acting like a moron.

  • Simim

    Actually, in regards to the last one, there’s an add-on for firefox/chrome/i.e. that actually makes you do a test before you can post on social network sites, in order to avoid drunken/stoned/whatever posts.

  • Craig Peterson

    Funny stuff!

  • http://powerisastateofmind.blogspot.com/ Matt

    My employers already know toooo much cos of Facebook and my blog (see link). 2 have resigned, so I have the feeling I’m in the clear with the rest of the organisation. But fuck it. Private life is just that… Side note: the cleavage cam needs to expand down to show the user’s waist. Too many bad situations meeting girls of FB.

  • Mike

    U dont hold saxaphones with ur right hand on top

  • Angela

    I just think that people should stop posting dumb pictures of themselves anyway; then you wouldn’t look like an idiot in the first place.

  • Guy

    @Mike: You would hold that way if you were left handed.

  • http://www.laughenis.co.za anelia

    yes..especially the last one..PWI CHECKER! ”wait are you sober…?” ha ha ha ha! could have saved myself a few ‘kak’ moments there..

  • Satyr_Martyr

    idiotry is a way ov life. if people dont lighten up every once in a while, life would suck ass. im only sayin so cuz im an idiot majority ov the time. and i enjoy it, as do others who think ov me as entertainment. but hey, whatever flies your rocketship

  • not an idiot

    @satyr_martyr, it’s of** not ov. :)

  • Dom22fly

    lol to funny well actually giggle

  • alexis

    This is too funny. they really should have the clean up button and the PWI checker lol, high in demand in this world.

  • Ant

    @not an idiot. I believe your a spelling Nazi.

  • Panda

    This is pretty funny… but I feel like the style is completely ripped off from the oatmeal. and therefore, I despise it.

  • yaboken

    facebook is real? i hear you find candy for sexy talk there… i like loli-pops!

  • Grammar Nazi

    @Ant *you’re

  • kj

    @guy: whether you are right handed or left handed has nothing to do with which way your hands are positioned on a saxophone

  • qazwiz

    Man, how do i send this to my facebook wall?

  • Mlp89

    @Mike

    “U dont hold saxaphones with ur right hand on top”

    You also don’t spell saxophone with a second “a.” I’m guessing you play saxophone, but I’m sure the person who drew the pic doesn’t- so cut them a break. If you’re going to be a detail nazi over a cartoon, you should probably spellcheck first.

  • CEO

    @Grammar Nazi: I actually laughed out loud at your comment.

  • jefffffffffff

    @Mike: you may not hold a saxophone with your right hand on top, but thats how i hold my bongs ;) saying that, im left handed haha

  • LOLing4Serious

    Seriously, funny article. For serious, these comments might have actually made me laugh harder than the article itself. Keep up the good work internet trolls, but only troll Mark Zuckerberg so we can get changes that we actually WANT on Facebook. :)

  • rubster

    @Mlp89 and @Mike If Mike played the saxophone he would know that it doesn’t matter if you’re right or left handed, you hold the saxophone the same way.

  • rubster

    @guy view by previous comment

  • Rana

    Oh, yes. YES.
    THIS. Forever and ever and ever THIS.

    Thank you. :D

  • http://www.rjconsultingonline.com RJ

    How about the Succinctinator? Redundant, meaningless, painfully-long comments get automatically reduced to the fewest words possible.

    “Me too! OMG-I so did that! I totally know what you mean, like totally. For real. Oh yeah-that’s me. You betcha”

    –>”Me too!”

  • 1%

    You’re not supposed to put your entire mouth around the entire bong, no wonder he needs that picture to be cleaned up.

  • Alysse

    Looks like a wanna-be Oatmeal to me ;)

  • Zebberdy

    Photo actualiser and photo cleanup seem to be in direct contradiction. Is this a straightup case one rule I’d like to see for myself and one rule for everybody else or is there a slightly sexist undertone at work here?

  • Mr C

    Gmail did the last one. It’s a pretty nice Labs feature.

  • http://google Kenneth Prud’homme

    I try to be polite and respectful when I’m talking to people or expressing an opinion…but some really dickheaded person(in my opinion) called me a troll….what gives?

  • dr. popple

    hey these are silly, thank you for being born and thinking of these silly things to say on this forum of the interweb, i can only hope that the silliness of these ideas will reach a broader population than it already has. please keep living, so that we can delight in the grace of your supreme genious. :)

  • Name (required)

    Really good ideas, but did any other people looking at this see a lot of porn ads on this site? nothing wrong with that…just…off topic…and distracting…=)

  • R EZ

    @zebberdy who cares it was for fun

  • Pooper

    Y’all so criticizing of each other!!!!
    It’s HILARIOUS!!!!

  • http://wenegred.ru Den

    This is pretty funny, specially cleanup button :)

  • Musmi

    Best part of this: I can actually type and recite the alphabet backwards, even whilst intoxicated. I feel I’ve beaten the system.

  • Greta

    THUMBS DOWN! Mark Zuckerberg is a genius. Quit the exploitation!

  • http://www.technoindian.com/ piyush technoindian

    this are actually very very funny

  • HerpDerp

    These were funny…when I first saw them on CollegeHumor. Don’t steal content then replace their watermark with yours, you un-creative assholes.

  • http://coolmaterial.com Tim Jacobsen

    @HerpDerp. Actually – this is 100% ours. Perhaps your comment belongs on the CollegeHumor site?

  • http://facebook shanise

    this is the most stupid fuckjing thing I’ve seen.
    You’ll turn facebook into the most boring fucking thing ever.
    And no one will use it, or those ideas were stupid.

  • Satyr_Martyr

    @not an idiot, did you know what i was saying when you read over my “misspelling”? you did? good. fuck off

  • Jack

    From both a scientific perspective and personal experience, I can say quite confidently that Zoloft doesn’t make people “happier”. The ill-advised prescription of anti-depressants can have extremely detrimental effects, including, ironically, severe depression.

  • Rae

    I just want a dislike button!!!!

  • joeyT

    none of these show what everybody really wants.. a dislike button, js

  • http://www.cynicalreviews.net Cynical Reviews

    Photo wiper would be oh so useful.

  • Bejoui

    I’d like a (button count) that reflects when (someone) anyone was there reading your post, but they have nothing to say.
    This will let you know about the “Invisible” people and
    possibly strike up a new conversation with the “Silent Majority”….This would require FB in changing their format.

  • http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2LOhEL/coolmaterial.com/roundup/facebook-changes-wed-actually-want-to-see/ Tina

    Facebook changes that need to be made also:

    1. Every time someone tries to post a duck-face picture or a pouty face or a peace sign (or all three together), the description “Im a faggot” should immediately pop up and be impossible to change.

    2. Every time someone tries to create a like that has been created/modified 5 bajillion times already, facebook should tell them to stop being so unoriginal and get a new joke.

    3. Whenever someone tries to repost/write a chain-post, show Samara coming out of the computer screen and coming to eat you then erasing the post.

    4. Make it impossible for this status to exist: Hmu:)<3. SRSLY.

    5. For profiles with too many cleavage photos change their name to "Ima skank"

    6. Automatically change posts to the correct form of "blank and I" or "blank and me"

    7. Get rid of those retards who have to contradict every single post in the world because they have no life other than starting fights online. And it's especially on youtube. SRSLY.

    Dear facebook, please take these into consideration.