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In the last several years, Apps have become ubiquitous in everyday life. They have cute names like Shazam or Emoji, and do cute things like read barcodes or slice digital fruit. And while that’s great, we at Cool Material sometimes wish we had Apps that could do… well, more. A few nights ago we got together, drank way too much buttered rum, and tried to come up with a list of Apps we wish existed. Then we drew a bunch of dicks on the conference room whiteboard. Yeah. Waaay too much rum.

We’ll admit the phalluses… phallusii?… are of no interest, but here are those Apps we hope someday appear on the market. Enjoy.





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