SPOILER ALERT: Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father. Okay, that might be the most unnecessary spoiler alert ever (aside from ruining the ending of Titanic) but chopping off your son’s hand, leaving him for dead and attempting to convert him to evil is not going to win you any “Father of the Year” awards. If it wasn’t for the whole Luke unknowingly sucking face with his sister thing, we’d say Darth Vader’s parenting skills were the worst family oriented part of the Star Wars saga. Since we as guys have a hard time putting our feelings into words, this Father’s Day card is at times the most we can muster for old Pops. Like he wants some sappy love card anyway? Get him this, sign your name and toss him a six-pack and he’ll probably shed a tear and promise not to freeze your annoying friend in carbonite.