ak47aquafire

Cubicle warfare is serious business, so leave your Nerf guns, Super Soakers, and annoying doodads at home – you need the AK47 Aqua Fire. Inheriting most of the traits of it’s bullet spewing older brother (inexpensive, durable, easy to use, quick fire), the AK47 Aqua Fire shoots four water “bullets” per second, has a removable magazine, and most importantly – doesn’t require any pumping. This is the only weapon that will leave you high and dry in the midst of an office conflict and for once that’s not a bad thing.

Parachute-CM-IF2-11-13-17

Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.