What Not To Buy Your Dad For Father’s Day


You’re all grown up and Mommy isn’t doing your shopping this year… and you have no clue what to buy for your Dad for Father’s Day. We might be able to help you with that, but if not we can definitely tell you what NOT to buy. Check out the worst Father’s Day gifts ever.


TEAM DADDY Matching Shirts

These “Team Daddy” matching T-shirts aren’t just corny, but just a little bit creepy. Do you really want to be THAT family? The one that goes to every event in matching Dad shirts freaking out the rest of us? Be honest, you’re not that family—you’re not even Mormon! The shirts are a bad idea. $26


Butt Ugly Tie

The last thing Dad needs is another Butt Ugly Tie. This one is a fine example, but really they’re all the same… a stupid pattern, a goofy message, and something he can choke himself with if he gets another stupid tie next year. $32


Golf Swing Doctor

Stop it with the goofy novelty gifts like the Golf Swing Doctor! Yes, he’s a terribly golfer. You know it, he knows it, even his boss knows it, but it’s the only thing he has to get himself away from the inane reality of his life. If you want to give a thoughtful gift why not something useful like new clubs or a good golf book, not some cheap novelty that’s gonna make him look even more ridiculous on the green than he does now. $7


Borrow My Pen Set

Hopefully if you get this Borrow My Pen Set of novelty pens for your dad it accompanies something a bit fancier or at least more professional. The set includes embarrassing pens like the “Springfield Sexual Addition Center: from Perv to Perfect in 30 days” or “Dr Lance Hughes Proctology” with the memorable tagline of “Turn your head and cough.” $4


Necktie Napkins

Try not to get too cute with the tie idea. Yeah, we get it. Ties are a cliché gift and this is a funny take on it. It’s also a cheap take on it that implies your dad is a hideous slob. $6


Men’s Underwear Repair Kit

Come on, no one’s father is really that cheap that he’d want the underwear repair kit. Not only does it come with sewing tools and patches, but also duct tape, underwear white out and a 32 page manual. If your dad really IS that cheap then maybe you should avoid this gift anyway (for your Mom’s sake). $10


How To Get Your Wife or Girlfriend to Want More Sex

This makes a great gift for any guy OTHER than Dad because well… it’s gonna make you think of your dad having sex… with who else? You don’t want to think about it and he doesn’t want to think about you thinking about it. Unless your dad is a single pimp of some kind you’re just going to have an awkward Father’s Day. And obviously if your dad IS some kind of Pimp this book ain’t got nothin’ to teach a playa. $30


A Sockscription

Man if you thought gift of the month clubs are dull then you’ve obviously never heard of a sockscription! Sure your dad has worn the same boring black socks every day since you could remember, but shopping for socks isn’t the most thrilling thing in the guy’s life and we doubt receiving them via mail every 3 months would be either. $89


Who Needs Another Stupid Tie When You Can Have This Stupid Cup

Get it? Because it’s not a stupid tie, it’s a stupid mug. Har freaking har. Who Needs Another Stupid Tie When You Can Have This Stupid Cup might muster up a smile or a tiny chuckle, but if you want to give dear ol’ Dad the gift of laughter this Father’s Day you could do much better. $24


Weener Kleener Soap

Not that hygiene is ever a great topic to approach via a gift, but the Weener Kleener pushes that taboo in brand new ways. Although it might give you the perfect opportunity to embarrass your dad in front of the whole family just like he did when he caught you doing that thing when you were 13. $7



If you think there’s any changes that Dad’s reluctance to get directions outweighs his desire for new gadgets then a GPS is completely out of the question. On that note, so is the GPStress in-car nagging system. You dad’s probably not going to enjoy the joke at his expense when you press the button to hear “at the next intersection you will be driving completely insane!” $18


Father’s Day Gorilla

What says I love you like a creepy stuffed gorilla you can play with online? The Beenie Baby 2.0 Father’s Day Gorilla doesn’t just make a bad gift as a stuffed animal he’ll never look at, but it also makes a bad gift as a virtual character he’ll never even know about. If a lamer gift exists we haven’t seen it. $8