decked-out-ron-swanson

There’s no way that we (or any man other than Swanson himself) could fully address the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness with any amount of Decked Out posts. Hell, it wouldn’t even be possible to emulate half of the things if we shaved our heads, unfriended all the people we went to high school with on Facebook and switched to a completely protein based diet. But seeing as how Parks and Recreation comes back for a fifth season this week, we’re gonna take a crack at it anyways. Here’s everything you need to put a little more Swanson in your life.

1. Best Made Co. Hudson Bay Axe – $250
2. Ace x Billykick Comb Case – $45
3. Sizzling Bacon Candle – $16
4. Polo Ralph Lauren Plaid Sport Shirt – $98
5. Dangerous Threads Heavy Duty Brown Leather Belt – $25
6. Dockers Signature Khaki Coffee Bean – $58
7. Citizen Eco Drive Calibre 2100 Watch – $447
8. Oregon Wild Hair Moustache Wax – $10
9. Traditional Metal Lunchbox – $66
10. Messograf Caliper Pen – $28
11. Standard Green Coffee Mug – $11
12. Florsheim Berkley Loafers – $100

geekey-if2

In short, this is a key-shaped multi-tool built of stainless steel that has all of the tools you need for everyday repairs for everything from light switches to bicycles. Bit driver. Protractor. Metric and Imperial rulers. Imperial and Metric closed wrenches. Bottle Opener. File. Scoring tip. Wire bender and bike spoke key. Wire stripper. Screwdrivers. 1/4 hex driver pocket. So you might need to throw in some hex bits for specific projects, but otherwise, the Geekey has you covered for almost all of your everyday repair needs. As if that wasn’t enough, the hexogon can also serve as a smoking bowl, with the shaft of the key hollowed out to serve as a pipe.