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  • the-fucking-calendar
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If you’re the kind of person that appreciates keeping track of the days in the year and the versatility of the word fuck (maybe you own this, this, and this), you’re going to want The Fucking Calendar. Created as a funny gift to kick off the new year, the calendar comes in black or white and pocket or poster sizes. A relatively traditional calendar with the days, dates and months for 2017 is decked out with plenty of fucks because each month includes a fucking title of the fucking holiday it’s most famous for. Fucking Valentine’s Day for February. Fucking Heat for June. Tourists for August. Halloween for October. You get the idea. This appropriately named calendar has all of the fucks you won’t give for the entire year, so it’s obviously completely inappropriate for a traditional office.

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Unzip your coat and have some mulled wine on the house—you’ve arrived at your final gifting destination: The Holiday Gift Guide. It’s like your friendly neighborhood one-stop holiday shop, except instead of balsa wood ornaments, ours is packed with thoughtful gifts for everyone on your list. Future heirlooms, small-but-significant stocking stuffers, and gear for getting out there (or staying in)—are all right here. There’s no music playing in the background though, so you’ll just have to hum Bing Crosby while you click around instead.

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