In a world of gastronomic feats and frou-frou dishes no bigger than two bites, the humble burger is a testament to no-bullshit, delicious food. In a way, it’s kinda like Anthony Bourdain, a man who eschews the pomp and circumstance some inject into their meals in favor of honesty. Here everyone’s favorite author/chef/personality breaks down the secrets to a good burger. We won’t give them all away but we will tell you that—shocker!—you should probably stop fucking with crazy toppings.

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Your morning routine is begging for Parachute’s towels. What makes them different? Well, Parachute uses an innovative process called Aerocotton Technology, which blows air through the cotton fibers as they’re spun. That means extra fluffy towels that dry quickly. Plus, the towels are made exclusively from premium long-staple Egyptian cotton, which is the best around. Soft, absorbent, and quick-drying—Parachute’s towels offer everything you want. Your new favorite part of a long, hot shower? Drying off.