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Like it or not, the status of Valentine’s Day as a Hallmark Holiday is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if we believe that because she doesn’t. Even the most frugal, “I don’t want chocolates and flowers” types secretly want to impress their co-workers with stories of romance and intrigue. Gentlemen, you’re not savages, so give her what she wants. This is everything you need to dress it up a bit for a night on the town, an escape to a hotel, or just some quality alone time. Just remember, don’t screw this up or she might forget about Steak & BJ Day next month.

1. J. Crew Heart Boxers – $19

2. Red Richer Poorer Socks – $12

3. TSOVET SVT-QS40 – $360

4. Hotel Tonight App (Android and iOS) – Free

5. I Effing Love You Valentine’s Day Card – $5

6. Kaweco Liliput Al Fountain Pen – $55

7. Bonobos Power Cords – $98

8. Ensign Pea Coat – $170

9. Jack Robie “Luke” Shirt – $105

10. Jack Spade Bones Money Clip – $65

Breza-CM-IF2-2-19-1

Whether you’re trying to refine your archery skills or just get a leg up on the competition when it comes to office warfare, the BB Sniper mini crossbow from Uncommon Carry will fit the bill. Handmade out of stainless steel and equipped with a self-loading chamber, the BB Sniper is designed to hurl projectiles like toothpicks or mini BBs with surprising accuracy at a range of about 30-50 feet. Make sure to schedule some time for target practice because this addictive little crossbow can do some damage. Have fun, but avoid the sensitive areas.