The Zombies Are Coming; The Zombies Are Coming

The Zombies Are Coming; The Zombies Are Coming

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zprepared

Didn’t you learn anything in Boy Scouts? In order to stay alive, you have to be prepared. Merely being prepared will only delay the inevitable when the zombie apocalypse comes. In order to truly survive you have to Z prepared. (com, of course)

Zprepared will outfit you with all the gadgets, know-how, goodies, accessories, clothing (including jeans that can hold up a Hummer), and, most importantly, weapons that you will need to if you don’t just want to survive, you want to LIVE. In reality, the glorious BOOM! Headshot moments will become monotonous after a few days. Living on canned gooods and vacuum-sealed, dehydrated, “space” food (Seriously NASA? You mean to tell me we have to technological know-how, economic resources, and sheer willpower to put humans into SPACE, but we can’t find a way to provide them with something that doesn’t taste like wet cardboard and melt in your mouth?) will make you look back on your last cheeseburger and pray to ride the stairway to heaven as soon as possible.

You want cheezburger? You can has cheezburger – thanks to Trek’n Eat’s Cheeseburger in a Can. You want bacon on it? Just throw on some Tactical Bacon from Think Geek. Zprepared gives you the tools to not only survive the return of all those relatives you thought were gone forever, but have a good time during the murderous rampage that is sure to follow. (Is it really murder if the victim is already dead?)

Just remember, first names (or letters) only.

The Martin Wholecut Oxford Is Handmade from a Single Piece of Italian Leather The Martin Wholecut Oxford Is Handmade from a Single Piece of Italian Leather
The Martin Wholecut Oxford Is Handmade from a Single Piece of Italian Leather PARTNER

For those who find attention-grabbing brogues and ornate details a bit too flashy but who still want a pair of attractive, well-made dress shoes, The Martin Wholecut is the answer. Handmade in Italy out of a single piece of Italian calfskin leather, the rich, supple dress shoes feel exceedingly comfortable and look sleek without being over the top. Each is outfitted with a leather lining, a matching leather sole, and is even painted by hand. Plus, thanks to the Blake construction, The Martin Wholecut Oxfords feel light and flexible.

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