Didn’t you learn anything in Boy Scouts? In order to stay alive, you have to be prepared. Merely being prepared will only delay the inevitable when the zombie apocalypse comes. In order to truly survive you have to Z prepared. (com, of course)
Zprepared will outfit you with all the gadgets, know-how, goodies, accessories, clothing (including jeans that can hold up a Hummer), and, most importantly, weapons that you will need to if you don’t just want to survive, you want to LIVE. In reality, the glorious BOOM! Headshot moments will become monotonous after a few days. Living on canned gooods and vacuum-sealed, dehydrated, “space” food (Seriously NASA? You mean to tell me we have to technological know-how, economic resources, and sheer willpower to put humans into SPACE, but we can’t find a way to provide them with something that doesn’t taste like wet cardboard and melt in your mouth?) will make you look back on your last cheeseburger and pray to ride the stairway to heaven as soon as possible.
You want cheezburger? You can has cheezburger – thanks to Trek’n Eat’s Cheeseburger in a Can. You want bacon on it? Just throw on some Tactical Bacon from Think Geek. Zprepared gives you the tools to not only survive the return of all those relatives you thought were gone forever, but have a good time during the murderous rampage that is sure to follow. (Is it really murder if the victim is already dead?)
Just remember, first names (or letters) only.