The Lowdown on Lingerie Shopping

The only real secret that Victoria has been keeping is that you have options… plenty of options. Lingerie has been the go-to gift for the wife/girlfriend/significant other for as long as there have been birthdays, anniversaries, and Hallmark. You already shop for gadgets, apocalypse survival tools, and ludicrously expensive watches online – why not lingerie too?

Men get to buy her a gift that is just as much for you as it is for her – and reap the rewards. Women get to buy him a gift that they get to keep. Buying lingerie (regardless of what side of the equation you are on) is like third grade – everyone wins!

In light of the fact that each of these sites is multi-faceted, like the object of affection, we’re going to rate each site on overall price on a scale of $ to $$$$$.  For reference, the aforementioned run-of-the-mill lingerie emporium ranks at $$. Keep in mind that these are all lingerie sites, do NOT look at them at work. You don’t want the pervy IT guy knowing what your date is wearing at the corporate Christmas party.


La La Lingerie – $

It doesn’t matter if her favorite color is red, purple, baby blue, black, or red – as long as it’s not white – because La La has something for her.  Sexy bustier? Done. Corset? Done. (Yes, there actually is a difference between the two of them.) Fishnet stockings? Check. Fishnet full body stockings? Double check. Obligatory bows, pieces of lace, and feminine accoutrements? Most definitely. La La is great place to start because the selection is huge and nothing will break the bank (but you might break your pants when she “models” it for you) They also have a rewards program (Hey, big spender…) and free shipping on orders over $50.


La Perla – $$$$$

La Perla is the high fashion, hoity toity equivalent of lingerie. It’s not really clothing so much as it is functional art.  Have you met a girl that doesn’t appreciate wearing art? It may be a diamond studded tennis bracelet, a hand-crafted necklace, or a tattoo, but women love wearing art. La Perla is as close to couture as you will probably ever get, and she will appreciate it. You can also skip the trip to Tiffany’s and just get the jewels laced into certain lines of their garments.  La Perla also offers free shipping, gift wrapping, and a “glamorous lace eye mask”.  Technically, you don’t get the eye mask unless you spend over $200, but you will be hard pressed not to spend that much here.


Cameo – $$

Cameo gets special points for having some of the hottest lingerie models most of you have probably never seen. Something about a girl next door in a see through dress is supremely satisfying.  Then there’s the fact that they somehow managed to turn a a folded-up paper snowflake from kindergarten into a snowflake. Cameo has everything you want in leather, lace, animal print, and cherries in styles that run the gamut from transparent to opaque.


Agent Provocateur – $$$$$

Don’t let the picture fool you, you aren’t in a Tiesto music video. However, Agent Provocateur is blurring lines the same way he does – except they do it with taffeta ribbon, sheer point d’esprit, and French Chantilly lace. No man has any idea what those things are, but the woman in your life is sure to appreciate the quality… and the name. Why get her the Toyota of lingerie when you can get her the Bugatti?


Isabella – $$

Two words – command girlshort. Apparently its like boyshorts combined with panties. As boyshorts are (barring dental floss) the hottest possible bottoms (The hottest clothed bottoms anyway) that’s a big win in our book. They also have the Boobologist in case you need to check on proper sizing. Use the Boobologist and get a coupon for $10.


Linay – $$

Linay caters to the bad girl. You can have a bra – as long as doesn’t cover the nipples, has chains, pearls, leather, or some crazy print. Red, black, blue, white, and pink with the previously mentioned “accessories” makes the models look like Power Rangers. Dirty, sexy Power Rangers.  You won’t even have to lie to your friends about enjoying it this time.


Lingerie Diva – $

Lingerie Diva is the place to go if you want white… or a shelf bra. The latter is exactly what it sounds like – a shelf – for breasts. Asking your man for help constructing it will surely result in a huge mess, but the best part of construction is always the demolition.  Lingerie Diva is stocked with the classic, the racy, and the gravity defying – you’re sure to find something you can both enjoy.


Stockin Girl – $$

Stockin Girl is, primarily, a boutique shop for the ultra-sheer, patterned, incredibly hot numbers that adorn the leg.  However, it’s in the same way that nerds are primarily number-crunching recluses.  Looks can be deceiving. Make sure you check out the lingerie section for the classy, sophisticated girl in your life.


Frederick’s – $$

Meet Victoria’s slightly dirtier, more fun, raunchier sister. Frederick’s can do the classic, no bells and whistles, but they also do the Exxtreme Cleavage (Where was the third X?), the Harlow, and the Burnout. Sure, there’s a lot of pastel colors, but some women will appreciate that. Frederick’s also happens to be having an Exxxtreme sale right now on a large selection of their inventory AND offering free shipping on orders over $25.


Trashy – $$$

The name may suggest otherwise, but trashy is the new classy. Well, assuming that undergarments with tassles and zippers can be considered classy. In the end it doesn’t matter if it’s classy because it’s hot hot hot. The truth of the matter is that guys like using their hands and the hook and eye closure is tedious. Give him something to play with that doesn’t require a degree in garment engineering. Trashy has an amazing amount of sales, and an enormous collection of costumes and accessories.

By Related Items: Sex, The Roundup, Women.


  • Cheri

    Shopping online gives you lots of choices so be sure you choose a store that offers contact information, a return policy and customer reviews.

    And there’s no excuse for choosing the wrong size…just pilfer through her underwear drawer and take notes.

  • Snuggie Pattern Patrick

    These are great fashion choices. Almost as good as the Snuggie pattern product that is so popular now, haha.