If Historical Events had Facebook Statuses

http://www.almostheaven.net Steamdude

Too soon for the Columbia disaster.

Knocking God and religion? Right on!

People that take their religion (any religion) THAT seriously are part of the problem, not part of the solution.

Mei

This made my day! Stfu about religion no one cares. It’s funny get over it.

Facebook User

The Pioneers are at the Snake River crossing on the Oregon Trail.
Indian: Need a hand?
Zeke: Nah, we can totally ford the river.
Oxen: mmmmoooooooOOOOOOOO?????!!

Oxen and Zeke have drown.

Mary is attending “Zeke and Oxen memorial service”.

Alice

OMG GUYZZZZ LETS GO BURN KORANZZZZ!!! just kidding.
eat my socks you hypocrites. and get a sense of humor while you’re at it. and stop being jerks. You think you own the world. get a life and go away if you don’t like it. and stop ruining jokes that some people actually enjoy. oh yea, I forgot that you OWNED THE WORLD AND NO ONE ELSE MATTERS BUT YOUR PETTY RELIGION.

Alice

oh yea and to the Catholics that aren’t extremists and hypocrites, I LOVE YOU. You haven’t ruined religion through ignorance, and you have good senses of humor too. =D Peace out and keep on laughing!

….

@Wiggidy, you’re a son of a bitch you know that??

http://facebook Alex Mu

chill out guys about the god thing.

BigBlue

The attacks on the Church are historically inaccurate. The Catholic Church is not full of homosexuals, for one. And while they disagreed with Galileo, they did so because a good portion of the world and their rulers did too. It was a new discovery. Lastly, Darwin’s theory is just that- still isn’t proved. The Church rightly disagrees with this because there is no scientific evidence to prove it as a fact. The Church proclaims that science comes from God and is good. Evolution, just like global warming theory, isn’t science.

The space shuttle joke was bad too. Wasn’t funny in the least.

cthulu

@bigblue actually, there is substantial proof that evolution is fact. google search it. not difficult. also, still isn’t PROVEN, not proved.

madara

I’ve been a Christian all my life (except, some might consider, when I reevaluated my beliefs several times and sort of “became” an atheist for a bit, but ultimately decided that the empirical extrabiblical evidence for God clearly and blatantly overwhelmed the evidence and arguments against it, though it is arguable about whether, from a Christian viewpoint, someone can be a Christian and then become “unsaved”) and I thought all of the jokes were hilarious, especially the God ones. I have always considered myself a bit abnormal because I am amused by antichristian material (like nonstampcollector and darkmatter), but that’s just the way that God made me imo.

Mike

You religious freaks need to lighten the hell up. If you can’t laugh about religion then you’re way too anal and in dire need of a colonic.

frank

BigBlue – if you believe the Church threatened an 80 year old Galileo with torture because other people thought the universe revolved around us you must not know much about the RCC & their dark ages.

Oh! And there it is! You know ZERO about science too! Look up the word theory and read ALL the definitions, not just the first one. There is a “theory of gravity” too but few of the same zealots pretend it is unproven. There is ample evidence of evolution.

You are right about the RCC not being full of Homosexuals though – priests have raped little girls, and a few have even violated grown up ones.

Kal-El

Actually, the Church ordered Gallileo to house arrest for the rest of his life, this meant that food and supplies were sent to a house outside of the city, where he could complete his studies, observations, and experiments until the day he died (which was about three of four years)

Reah

I am a Christian, and I think the God jokes were funny. =)

Robert

This was funny ill admit, but you see how ignorant people are through about 90% of these comments

Marcio

9/11!!! 9/11!!! :p

Manny

May I recommend you religious-heads some George Carlin material? Funny stuff though xD. Love the meteor one.

Shmikey

Too bad there isn’t a button on SU that says: [I LOVE THIS!!!!].

Most inventive thing I’ve seen yet… I plan on sharing/forwarding this to as many pesky creationists that I can think of!

Lorraine8

This is crazy staff LOL

Cav

You’re all idiots. This is hilarious!

faye

this needs to be in the classroom. seriously. its sad, but the kids would get it and be interested in history.

btw i laughed the entire thing. i think the God stuff was pushed a little, but still funny. it didnt denounce him just made light of it. people, dont take things so seriously. If you believe in God than pray for the peoples salvation and move on. What is the good in going nuts on a thing online?

Bane

You had me until “6000 years ago”

yuka

Im a christian and I liked all the jokes its funny its humor and the columbia thing well its funny but the american ego goes aflamin when you see one of your mayor failures and the douche who said religion flies you in to a building but science flies you to the moon i lough at your attempt on being smart but the religion is more believable than the moon landing stupid american -.-

becky

The Columbia one bothered me a tiny bit, but I’m old enough to remember seeing the Challenger blow up. Under the event, Original Sin, Jesus’ comment is “I got this one.” Wow folks, take away the sarcasm and you have the core belief of Christianity. So I’m not gonna cry “foul.” (Not that I would anyway.)

http://vampiredaze.com Vampire Daze

Funny until Challenger. That was in extremely poor taste given the families of these people are still alive.

And Marcio, you are a dick!

Daaaave

Lol, people complaining about god jokes, here’s a good one.

2 guys walk into a bar, and one of them was God, and he was like, “hey bro, wassup?” and I was like “I’m out” and then I went and raped his Mum olololol.

Robin

except for the columbia space shuttle..very funny

the dog

Very funny-I shall be ripping this off,I mean paying homage or doing a tribute.I’m a gospel wallopper and I liked the God comments.You yanks are supposed to be having a global bash at religious absolutism in the wider world but for most of you you don’t have to leave the street you live in

Dmonet

Seriously this is AWESOME! Whoever did this did a grt job!
& if you’re going to take exception with the Challenger bit, you should also take exception with the Vesuvius, Titanic and the Native American (Thanksgiving & Cortez)… These are just jokes… lighten up!
The God jokes are also GREAT! Seriously, you’re worried about getting in trouble with God?? What does that even mean??
God doesn’t have an ego!

Dmonet

Ok, the Hellen Keller bit was kinda messed up, but funny!

einstien

there is no such thing as a brontosaurus. look it up.

coolguy

facebook & twitter sucks

http://FB Robb

JFK: Dallas is beautiful this time of year, I think we’ll take the convertible….
Oswald: Yeah, take in the sun and drive slow it’s good for scanning the crowd for chicks

http://FB Robb

Challenger: Kind of rough on the lift off kids, better put the ‘no smoking’ light on
Sally Ride: Hey, what’s this red button do?????
Houston: DON’T PU……dammit. Well, there’s always the Columbia…….

http://FB Robb

John Lennon: I’d love to sign you book. Yoko get the hell out of the way I have fans you know.
Chapman: Sorry America I only had 6 bullets and that Yoko was a quick little monkey!

Megan

HAHAHAHHAHAAH

chelso

haha. BRONTOSAURUS’S EXISTED,fuck you einstien.

p.s. you spelled your name wrong.

http://odsijf.com iooisdf

ooh i don’t have to register to comment!

Yeah ur all dumb-fucs

http://minusthebars.blogspot.com don

I’ve never so hard in my life!

God please forgive me.

Megan

Haha! Hilarious! XD

Kay

That shit is funny!

faith

THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WORKING ON A SPEECH PROJECT THIS IS WHAT I FOUND LOL WOW…………..

Alexandra

Now thats what i call a history lesson lol LMAO!!!

Trustin Yo Motha

Fake and Gay!

http://annieissocoolike Annie

this was hilarious.
lovelovelove. :3

Shawn

I knew that once people were saying that the “God jokes” were offensive, that some lame atheist would come around and start up an argument. I swear, that’s all they do. Atheists just sit at their monitors and unload on Christians because they actually choose to live life to the fullest…gets me every time.

Ashlie

I’m a Christian and I found the God jokes to be funny, but I still hold the same respect for my God. I don’t think God would’ve given us senses of humor if He didn’t have one Himself since He created us in His image. Just sayin. Nice one. I thought the whole thing was pretty neat. Funny and Cute because everyone is Facebook crazed.

Grammar police

@Human: unrespectable is not a word -_-

Kris

I LOVE God with all my heart, but this sh** was hilarious! I pray and I attend chruch but I really don’t find this offensive. I don’t see myself as any less christian-catholic because I laugh at this every single time i see it, hah.. What the hell, God would probably laugh at it himself.. “those funny little human beings, man i did a good job..” But hey, I get where people are coming from and if somebody finds those comments offensive, then they do, and there is nothing we can say to change that. Everybody looks differently at things and someone might be more sensitive when it comes to religion, respect that.. But anyways, whoever did this is funny as f***!!!! good job!! hahha

Sam

Fantastic. had me in stitches. Sad it was so short would really make a great book. however reading all the comments from the people offended by the religious comments is equally amusing!