If you live in Wisconsin, there are a number of absurd food related things you can get thrown in the clink for: margarine (illegal at one point), cheese making (without a license of course), and theft…of jerky. In Sheboygan (Really, who comes up with these names?), one cheesehead (no room for common sense, eh?) took this to a whole new level when her theft of beef jerky and a lighter from the local Quik Market (if she was thinking she would have gotten a Duff to wash it down with).
When the “Peace Officers” came to her house to question her, the cheese got pasteurized. She went all Jaime Hammer and stripped to her underwear all the while babbling that they “couldn’t arrest her because she was going to be naked.” Then she proceeded to deposit a saliva sample in one officer’s mouth (DNA testing made easy!) and provide the other with a large amount of strife…courtesy of his gonads (Weeeeeeee).
They finally get her naked ass in the car (To the boys in blue – our condolences, this must have been horrible), and she smashes it up against the rear window. Ms. Laack – there is nothing that you can do clothed that is not more fun naked. This includes, but is not limited to, arresting people when you’re a “Police.”
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