Generally, “work” means spending time somewhere you don’t want to be, doing things you hate, and watching the clock – all in the name of being able to pay for the things you love. These men (and the nine that came before them) are the ultimate testament to everything it means to be a man – Vegas, video games, vixens, and everything that goes vroom. They might still have to work every once in a while, but these are all jobs you would have no problem waking up for on a daily basis.
Johnathan “Fatal1ty” Wendel – L337 Gamer.
Welcome to the part where we talk about Fatal1ty. Before we proceed any further (and you start throwing around the word nerd) go back and look at that picture again. Not one, or two, or three, but seven hotties surrounding this “nerd” for a photo op. Yeah, it was definitely a staged picture, but if there are hot chicks out there playing video games, Fatal1ty is going to be the one to find them. As if that isn’t enough, he has won over $500,000 playing video games and turned his name into a brand of headphones, sound cards, keyboards, and pretty much everything else you need to play computer games. Bet you wish your mom didn’t take your Nintendo away and make you do homework.
Elon Musk – Visionary. Space Man.
Elon Musk started a bunch of companies you may have heard of – PayPal (sold for $1.5bil to eBay), SpaceX (awarded $1.6bil NASA contract), and Tesla. His current net worth is estimated to be somewhere in the realm of $328mil. What’s more interesting than that (otherwise Bill Gates would have an interesting job) is what his companies do. SpaceX, where he’s the CEO and CTO, develops and manufactures space launch vehicles. Tesla (he’s the CEO) is the electric car company with the zero-emissions car that you actually WANT to drive. Never before has the decision to fly or drive been so difficult.
Joe Jammer – Guitar Player.
Joe Jammer was a young guitar tech working at Kinetic Playground in Chicago when an unknown (at the time) band Led Zeppelin came to town. Joe became friends with Jimmy Page and the rest of it (touring with Led Zeppelin, writing anthems for sports teams, The Olympic Runners) is history. Having Jimmy Page as a guitar mentor is a pretty big deal.
Adam Silber – PR Executive.
Ask any man what the greatest place in the United States is and the answer will be unanimous – Las Vegas. Adam gets paid to go to Sin City so much he is apparently sick of it. How any one could possibly get sick of Spearmint Rhino is beyond us, but spending too much time in Vegas is a problem we would love to have. Plus more free tickets, shirts, phones, and promotional crap than you can shake a stick at. Plus, no one really knows what a PR Executive does so you can never get yelled at for not doing your job.
Phil Ivey – Poker Player.
Phil Ivey is the Tiger Woods of poker, with a better text messaging plan. Ivey is currently listed number one in all-time money winners and is widely regarded as the best all-around player in the world. As if seven World Series of Poker bracelets weren’t enough, he makes roughly six million dollars a year playing online at Full Tilt. Did we mention the fat stack of cash he gets for doing what you do on the third Friday of every month?
Nathan Fillion – Cult Classic.
There isn’t much in the world of pop culture that Nathan Fillion hasn’t been involved in. Just in case you haven’t seen his new show Castle, here’s a brief list of other things he’s done – Firefly, Serenity, Drive, Lost, Buffy, Halo, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, Saving Private Ryan, and The Outer Limits. What do all these things have in common (besides being cult classics obviously)? Hot women. Then there’s the guns, jaw-dropping cars, spaceships, and time-traveling islands. Nathan Fillion gets paid to do everything you’ve dreamed about doing since you were five.
Chris Illuminati – Writer. Professional Asshole.
Chris wrote a book (Assholeology). Some douche from Twilight was seen reading it and then it cracked the Top 100 on Amazon. That’s already kind of a big deal, but he also writes for Asylum, Ask Men, The Bachelor Guy, and – most importantly – Penthouse. For a guy who can barely string together coherent sentences (there’s literally a Facebook group called “Chris Illuminati with Asylum is an IDIOT!”) that’s pretty damned impressive. All kidding aside, he puts words on paper (kind of) for some of the biggest Men’s sites on the Internet and the best American “lifestyle magazine” since Playboy sold out. He sets his own hours and gets paid to write – without having to make up religious conspiracy theories. Sounds like a pretty awesome gig to us.
Anthony Bourdain – As Himself.
Anthony Bourdain is a household name now, but he basically gets paid to fly around the world sampling crazy food for his show No Reservations. He’s also written three New York Times bestsellers and rubs elbows with the likes of Thomas Keller, Mario Batali, and Andrew Zimmern. How do you know you’ve made it? When you have a TV show based on you (Kitchen Confidential), that’s also about a book you wrote. He flies around the world drinking, smoking, and eating while getting paid the entire time.
Geoffrey Arend – Mr. Christina Hendricks.
Geoffrey Arend has been in a bunch of movies you’ve seen (Super Troopers, Garden State, The Ringer), but his full-time job is supporting Christina Hendricks. And that is a big job, but someone – unfortunately not you – has to do it. Geoffrey Arend is that guy and he’s on the motorboat we all want to be on.