Isla Fisher Is In Time-Out

islafisher

There are few things in this world that get the fires of the burning like Isla Fisher. It may just be the summation of her incredible assets or her massive gifts, but men the world over fawn over this doe-eyed vixen on a regular basis. Why then, would a best-selling author (seriously) who happens to be quite gifted when it comes to the stage (she pulled off the crazy chick perfectly) AND drop-dead gorgeous (she was even hot knocked-up), agree to do a movie like Desperados? It is not, unfortunately, a re-imagining of the Banderas/Rodriguez classic starring Salma Hayek and Isla Fisher (we can all dream).

Here’s the plot summary from Hollywood Reporter – The story is set in motion when a woman sends an indignant e-mail to her new beau, who’s gone silent after they have sex. When she discovers he’s comatose in a Mexican hospital, she races south of the border with her friends in tow to intercept the e-mail before he recovers. The project has been described as a female-oriented “Hangover.”

First of all, anyone who has had (or will have for that matter) sex with Isla Fisher is immune to all ailments. (Did you see Bruno? Neither did anyone else and yet Sacha Baron Cohen still has a career) so it is impossible for the man to be in Mexico. Furthermore, if he was already having sex with her, what reason would he have to go to Mexico? Hell, what reason would he have to get out of bed? Was she not adventurous enough for him?

Did any of the people responsible for this movie actually see “The Hangover?” Oh wait, it’s produced by Mark Gordon and Jason Blum – the gentlemen responsible for “2012” and “Paranormal Activity.” It all makes sense given the fact they didn’t see “Day After Tomorrow” or “Blair Witch.” Gentlemen, please don’t make this some coming-of-age, Road Trip-inspired, chick flick cinematic abortion because Isla Fisher needs to have a film career so we can keep seeing her in larger than life proportions. Do you two want to be responsible for crushing male fantasies everywhere?

At the very least, put in some gratuitous girl-on-girl action so we don’t fall asleep when our girlfriends/wives/significant others drag us to it.

 



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