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In the old days – we’re talking ancient pre-Internet history here – they had these things called singing telegrams that you would order for people on special occasions (Or at least that’s what Grandpa tells us at Christmas every year). Singing telegrams were replaced with e-cards for more “work appropriate” events (when the lady friend is around) and stripper grams for when she wasn’t. And then there was the Hottie Gram.

For all those times when “Happy Birthday,” “The Packers Suck,” “I’m Sorry,” and “You’re a douche” just won’t do, there is Hottie Gram. Part e-card, part stripper gram, but totally disease and payment free, the Hottie Gram has everything (naked chicks) you need to tell your buddies… in a way they can’t ignore (naked chicks).

Because there’s no better way to tell anyone anything than with Playmates Tiffany Taylor (Miss November), Sara Underwood (Playmate of the Year), and Christine Smith (Miss December).

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Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.