Tru Blood

Like it or not, vampires are here to stay. We don’t understand it but we’re willing to deal with it on account of the largely female fanbase. Since your taste in women is more refined (even though your morals may not be) you really only have to worry about one thing – True Blood. There’s no better way to show her you care than with a nice big glass of the namesake – Tru Blood. Is it slightly stupid? Yeah, but since it’s just a blood orange carbonated drink it’s nothing vodka and some boobs can’t fix.

Parachute-CM-IF2-11-13-17

Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.