The Oatmeal’s “Horrible” Cards | Cool Material
The Oatmeal's "Horrible" Cards

The Oatmeal’s “Horrible” Cards

We’ve gotten away with Hallmark carefully picking and choosing our words for us on special occasions for what feels like forever, but there’s some things even a Hallmark card can’t say. Sometimes you just want that special someone in your life to know that even though you sometimes want to smother them in their sleep, you really do care about them. The Oatmeal’s newest collection of “Horrible” Cards arrives just in time for you to pick some up for your Valentine…provided he or she isn’t going to be put off by you relating your courtship to crawling in the butt of tiger, or taping their eyes to a cat. In other words, the recipient has to have a sense of humor as messed up as yours. If you’ve chosen properly though that shouldn’t be a problem.

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You wear underwear. You’re probably doing it right now. So if you’re wearing underwear anyway, try MeUndies. Their underwear is made from an exceptionally breathable fabric they get from Beechwood trees in the Austrian Alps. Bonus thing, the fabric inhibits bacterial growth in your sensitive space, which is the most positive thing ever said. It’s really soft too. You don’t need science to prove that, just skin you can rub the fabric on. They come in black. Attractive people wear black. They come in a 3-pack “Classic Collection,” which saves money. Financially savvy people save money.  Be an attractive, financially savvy person.

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