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The Fucking Calendar

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If you’re the kind of person that appreciates keeping track of the days in the year and the versatility of the word fuck (maybe you own this, this, and this), you’re going to want The Fucking Calendar. Created as a funny gift to kick off the new year, the calendar comes in black or white and pocket or poster sizes. A relatively traditional calendar with the days, dates and months for 2017 is decked out with plenty of fucks because each month includes a fucking title of the fucking holiday it’s most famous for. Fucking Valentine’s Day for February. Fucking Heat for June. Tourists for August. Halloween for October. You get the idea. This appropriately named calendar has all of the fucks you won’t give for the entire year, so it’s obviously completely inappropriate for a traditional office.

ZYX Flask ZYX Flask
ZYX Flask PARTNER

The flask, by nature, is a clandestine item. It slips in and out of interior suit pockets on the sly. Why not bring an added dose of covertness to the whole ordeal with this All Black ZYX Flask. The stainless steel flask sports a mysterious motif that’s supported by the alphabet being curiously printed in reverse on the front. Each All Black ZYX Flask holds 6 ounces of the good stuff. If an MI6 agent were to take a swig on the job, we like to imagine this would be his flask of choice.

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