Personal-Bacon-Tracker

It has long been reported that Ron Swanson once filled out one of these Personal Bacon Trackers in under two hours, only to finish it up with a steak omelet for dessert. We can’t all be Ron Swanson. We can however, strive to eat as much bacon as we possibly can while keeping track of our progress, and we don’t mean with regular doctor visits (though those might be encouraged). With your very own Personal Bacon Tracker, you can see how long it takes you to hit all kinds of bacon related milestones and look back on them fondly. “Ah, remember when we were at that IHOP and I hit the century mark? . . . (Pause) . . . I’m sorry, I just have something in my eye.”

Parachute-CM-IF2-11-13-17

Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.