Personal Bacon Tracker | Cool Material
Personal Bacon Tracker

Personal Bacon Tracker

It has long been reported that Ron Swanson once filled out one of these Personal Bacon Trackers in under two hours, only to finish it up with a steak omelet for dessert. We can’t all be Ron Swanson. We can however, strive to eat as much bacon as we possibly can while keeping track of our progress, and we don’t mean with regular doctor visits (though those might be encouraged). With your very own Personal Bacon Tracker, you can see how long it takes you to hit all kinds of bacon related milestones and look back on them fondly. “Ah, remember when we were at that IHOP and I hit the century mark? . . . (Pause) . . . I’m sorry, I just have something in my eye.”

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You wear underwear. You’re probably doing it right now. So if you’re wearing underwear anyway, try MeUndies. Their underwear is made from an exceptionally breathable fabric they get from Beechwood trees in the Austrian Alps. Bonus thing, the fabric inhibits bacterial growth in your sensitive space, which is the most positive thing ever said. It’s really soft too. You don’t need science to prove that, just skin you can rub the fabric on. They come in black. Attractive people wear black. They come in a 3-pack “Classic Collection,” which saves money. Financially savvy people save money.  Be an attractive, financially savvy person.

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