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The five stages of grief don’t necessarily have to be applied to a person thinking about creating a bucket list because they’re on the way out. Whether it’s a stupid co-worker that has no business being employed or a boss that’s a walking wedgie, you probably find yourself in a state of denial, anger, bargaining, depression or acceptance on at least a weekly basis. These mood rings of alcohol consumption have almost exact measurements for the amount of booze required to fix any emotional issue, and even if you’re constantly in a state of denial, booze is still cheaper than a therapist. Or you pick them up simply because they’re a cool conversation piece. Whatever works for you.

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Your morning routine is begging for Parachute’s towels. What makes them different? Well, Parachute uses an innovative process called Aerocotton Technology, which blows air through the cotton fibers as they’re spun. That means extra fluffy towels that dry quickly. Plus, the towels are made exclusively from premium long-staple Egyptian cotton, which is the best around. Soft, absorbent, and quick-drying—Parachute’s towels offer everything you want. Your new favorite part of a long, hot shower? Drying off.