Ink Blot Plate | Cool Material
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Ink Blot Plate

If your diet consists of lots of squid ink pasta, we wouldn’t recommend getting these plates. First off, because you’ll think your plates are always dirty, and second because you shouldn’t be wasting time acquiring fine china when you need to be making a doctors appointment to discuss your highly bizarre eating habits. Fashioned after a Rorschach test, each of the plates in this series of four ($33 each) features an inkblot ready for your discerning eye. If instead of the animals listed, you see things like “The Devil” and “Anarchy,” you should probably also stop ordering and call the good doctor.

MeUndies Makes Insanely Comfortable Underwear MeUndies Makes Insanely Comfortable Underwear
MeUndies Makes Insanely Comfortable Underwear PARTNER

You wear underwear. You’re probably doing it right now. So if you’re wearing underwear anyway, try MeUndies. Their underwear is made from an exceptionally breathable fabric they get from Beechwood trees in the Austrian Alps. Bonus thing, the fabric inhibits bacterial growth in your sensitive space, which is the most positive thing ever said. It’s really soft too. You don’t need science to prove that, just skin you can rub the fabric on. They come in black. Attractive people wear black. They come in a 3-pack “Classic Collection,” which saves money. Financially savvy people save money.  Be an attractive, financially savvy person.

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