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  • Ink-Blot-Plate
  • Ink-Blot-Plate-2
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If your diet consists of lots of squid ink pasta, we wouldn’t recommend getting these plates. First off, because you’ll think your plates are always dirty, and second because you shouldn’t be wasting time acquiring fine china when you need to be making a doctors appointment to discuss your highly bizarre eating habits. Fashioned after a Rorschach test, each of the plates in this series of four ($33 each) features an inkblot ready for your discerning eye. If instead of the animals listed, you see things like “The Devil” and “Anarchy,” you should probably also stop ordering and call the good doctor.

Pappy-Van-Winkle-Hot-Sauce

Pappy Van Winkle is the name in bourbon. Bottles have sent drinkers on wild goose chases and left others with empty bank accounts. While we can’t help you procure any of that elusive elixir, we can bring a little Pappy into your life in another way. Pappy Van Winkle Hot Sauce is aged in actual Pappy Van Winkle bourbon barrels. The distillery teamed with friends at Midland Ghost to make this flavorful hot sauce, which features the latter’s prized first generation Ghost Peppers. After the sauce was made, it was left to age in barrels that once held Pappy. That means you have a sauce that’s rich, oaky, and full of flavorful heat. Use it on meats, veggies, or, if you’re a special brand of crazy, just drink it straight from the bottle. It’s that good.