Duke-Cannon-Big-Ass-Brick-of-Soap

Duke Cannon is the man Santa Clause wishes he could be. The man that James Bond signals for assistance when his Aston Martin breaks down and his abs are feeling a little flabby. He’d applaud Leeroy Jenkins for being man enough to charge into battle, but punch him right in the face for fucking up the plan. Even though he sounds like he could be the Commander of the GI Joes, he prefers to take matters into his own hands rather than resort to lasers. He’s also completely imaginary and that’s ok. It’s not about a real dude named Duke Cannon (but that would be awesome), it’s about the idea of men being men instead of the metrosexual doppelgangers they’ve become. The first step is Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick of Soap. Made in the style and at the same plant the military used for over 20 years, this is bad ass soap.

Parachute-CM-IF2-11-13-17

Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.