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Duke Cannon is the man Santa Clause wishes he could be. The man that James Bond signals for assistance when his Aston Martin breaks down and his abs are feeling a little flabby. He’d applaud Leeroy Jenkins for being man enough to charge into battle, but punch him right in the face for fucking up the plan. Even though he sounds like he could be the Commander of the GI Joes, he prefers to take matters into his own hands rather than resort to lasers. He’s also completely imaginary and that’s ok. It’s not about a real dude named Duke Cannon (but that would be awesome), it’s about the idea of men being men instead of the metrosexual doppelgangers they’ve become. The first step is Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick of Soap. Made in the style and at the same plant the military used for over 20 years, this is bad ass soap.

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Whether you’re trying to refine your archery skills or just get a leg up on the competition when it comes to office warfare, the BB Sniper mini crossbow from Uncommon Carry will fit the bill. Handmade out of stainless steel and equipped with a self-loading chamber, the BB Sniper is designed to hurl projectiles like toothpicks or mini BBs with surprising accuracy at a range of about 30-50 feet. Make sure to schedule some time for target practice because this addictive little crossbow can do some damage. Have fun, but avoid the sensitive areas.