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Nothing says, “I’m being so discreet and yet completely obvious at the same time,” like sipping your booze out of a brown paper bag. It’s like Clark Kent wearing a t-shirt that says, “Come on guys, I’m totally not Superman.” Next time you’re brown bagging it, why not have your disguise double as a koozie. The Bum Bag is a reusable foil lined beverage holster that will keep your beer cold while keeping your public drinking deliciously undercover. Made from water-resistant and tear-proof Tyvek, the Bum Bag looks and feels like a brown paper bag that just happens to have super powers.

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Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.