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Even if you finished your holiday shopping, did you even think about cards yet? Don’t get stuck with the leftovers at Hallmark again this year, say what you really mean with the new holiday cards from Calligraphuck. Finally wish that special someone a Merry Fucking Christmas or a Happy Fucking Holiday like you’ve always wanted to. These cards express your feelings so much more gracefully directly than the ones at any card store that are already starting to miss envelopes (seriously, who is stealing random envelopes?). Anyway, happy yuletide, bitches.

Parachute-CM-IF2-11-13-17

Ah, the waffle weave. Looks cool, feels great, reminds us of toasted Eggos. You’ve seen them before–probably in a fancy store or hotel–but Parachute’s brand new Waffle Towels are different. They’re spun using innovative Aerocotton Technology, which basically means they’ll be dry by the time your significant other finally gets out of the shower and realizes you stole their towel. Parachute’s Waffle Towels come in two sizes and two neutral colors. Plus, their 100% cotton construction means they start soft and only get softer with time. Even Kevin McCallister would approve.